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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751596" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I think a lot of our adopted kids had birth mothers who drank while pregnant and alcohol to a developing fetus, I was told, is worse than cocaine, although nothing is helpful. For any of us who gave birth, we took Prenatal vitamins. We ate well. We saw the doctor. We did not dare drink. I never took anything, not even a headache medication.</p><p></p><p>Where Kay comes from drinking is a big deal. Im pretty sure her birthmother drank during her pregnancy. Bless her, she was not well educated and knew no better I suppose. She did not see doctors during her pregnancy. She kind of just showed up at the orphanage saying she can't raise the baby then left. That is all we were told. What illnesses ran in her family? We don't know. Many birthparents are mentally ill and pass it to offsprings. Moms who give up parental rights tend to be less stable or drug addicts or alcoholics. This doesn't go away because we love them and give them good lives.</p><p></p><p>I do think fetal alcohol kids have brain damage and I was told that these kids can't learn by consequences, not even jail. What I was told by experts scared me. Kay never learned. I don't know what to do with an adult child with brain damage. I don't know if Kay has any. She wont go to find out. I know SHE drank while pregnant. And smoked pot.</p><p></p><p>Jaden is not a normal toddler. He is hyper and cries over everything and is delayed.</p><p></p><p>My main issue is that Kay will not go find out what is wrong with her so we are clueless about her and why she is how she is. Ignorance is not bliss here. She guarantees she will get no help at all. We cant help what we cant define. Maybe not even then. Her pediatricians told us she would mature out of her behavior but she did not.</p><p></p><p>If she is this way due to brain damage we still can't live with it, but maybe she could get community's services. It is hard to handle and we are older now. </p><p></p><p>We are done. There is nothing more we can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751596, member: 23706"] I think a lot of our adopted kids had birth mothers who drank while pregnant and alcohol to a developing fetus, I was told, is worse than cocaine, although nothing is helpful. For any of us who gave birth, we took Prenatal vitamins. We ate well. We saw the doctor. We did not dare drink. I never took anything, not even a headache medication. Where Kay comes from drinking is a big deal. Im pretty sure her birthmother drank during her pregnancy. Bless her, she was not well educated and knew no better I suppose. She did not see doctors during her pregnancy. She kind of just showed up at the orphanage saying she can't raise the baby then left. That is all we were told. What illnesses ran in her family? We don't know. Many birthparents are mentally ill and pass it to offsprings. Moms who give up parental rights tend to be less stable or drug addicts or alcoholics. This doesn't go away because we love them and give them good lives. I do think fetal alcohol kids have brain damage and I was told that these kids can't learn by consequences, not even jail. What I was told by experts scared me. Kay never learned. I don't know what to do with an adult child with brain damage. I don't know if Kay has any. She wont go to find out. I know SHE drank while pregnant. And smoked pot. Jaden is not a normal toddler. He is hyper and cries over everything and is delayed. My main issue is that Kay will not go find out what is wrong with her so we are clueless about her and why she is how she is. Ignorance is not bliss here. She guarantees she will get no help at all. We cant help what we cant define. Maybe not even then. Her pediatricians told us she would mature out of her behavior but she did not. If she is this way due to brain damage we still can't live with it, but maybe she could get community's services. It is hard to handle and we are older now. We are done. There is nothing more we can do. [/QUOTE]
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