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What works for your oppositional & defiant child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 161879" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>MWM I don't know what was said in this post to convince you that another evaluation was necessary.</p><p></p><p>Jules I have been living with extreme defiance and ODD behavior for years now. Don't beat yourself up over poor parenting although I did chuckle because you used the term "poor fit" and that term was used by a team of professionals when they evaluated our difficult child at about age seven. I resented that term then but over time I have come to understand what they meant. I believe we were a poor fit for our difficult child, our temperments are completely different, our values are different, our personalities are different, we don't have the same outlook on life or work or play or rules or anything. And I do believe that perhaps I tried to mold difficult child into my way of life instead of accepting her for who she was, although it's hard accepting a child who constantly defies every rules of our house and society.</p><p></p><p>I agree that I would give your difficult child only two choices. Would you like grilled cheese or hamburger for dinner? Would you like to play outside or go to the movies? Remember that his ADHD medications will not take the ODD behavior away. The best you can hope for is that it will help him focus more so that you can try some behavioral modifications.</p><p></p><p>I won't tell you this is going to be easy. For those of us who have ODD children we need a great deal of patience. Try not to make everything a battle. Easier said then done. Find something to praise him for every day even if you have to make something up. If you dont; feel the medications are helping his ADHD at all perhaps it's time for a medication change. I am not a fan of adderall anyway because it can be abused in the middle school years, kids sell their adderall pills and crush them and snort them for a quick high.</p><p></p><p>Counseling did not help my difficult child at that age, they are too young to get anything from it. If I had it to do all over again I would ban every ounce of sugar from my home. I don't know if that would have helped but it wouldn't have hurt. She is now addicted to sugar and drinks energy drinks to get that high. </p><p></p><p>I wish I had better answers for you. My difficult child will be 17 in two days and her ODD behavior landed her in legal trouble and a weekend stay in detention. She is still very attracted to risky behavior and believes that rules were made for everyone but her. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 161879, member: 59"] MWM I don't know what was said in this post to convince you that another evaluation was necessary. Jules I have been living with extreme defiance and ODD behavior for years now. Don't beat yourself up over poor parenting although I did chuckle because you used the term "poor fit" and that term was used by a team of professionals when they evaluated our difficult child at about age seven. I resented that term then but over time I have come to understand what they meant. I believe we were a poor fit for our difficult child, our temperments are completely different, our values are different, our personalities are different, we don't have the same outlook on life or work or play or rules or anything. And I do believe that perhaps I tried to mold difficult child into my way of life instead of accepting her for who she was, although it's hard accepting a child who constantly defies every rules of our house and society. I agree that I would give your difficult child only two choices. Would you like grilled cheese or hamburger for dinner? Would you like to play outside or go to the movies? Remember that his ADHD medications will not take the ODD behavior away. The best you can hope for is that it will help him focus more so that you can try some behavioral modifications. I won't tell you this is going to be easy. For those of us who have ODD children we need a great deal of patience. Try not to make everything a battle. Easier said then done. Find something to praise him for every day even if you have to make something up. If you dont; feel the medications are helping his ADHD at all perhaps it's time for a medication change. I am not a fan of adderall anyway because it can be abused in the middle school years, kids sell their adderall pills and crush them and snort them for a quick high. Counseling did not help my difficult child at that age, they are too young to get anything from it. If I had it to do all over again I would ban every ounce of sugar from my home. I don't know if that would have helped but it wouldn't have hurt. She is now addicted to sugar and drinks energy drinks to get that high. I wish I had better answers for you. My difficult child will be 17 in two days and her ODD behavior landed her in legal trouble and a weekend stay in detention. She is still very attracted to risky behavior and believes that rules were made for everyone but her. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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