I am very concerned for him. Maybe he is just pulling on my heartstrings but somehow I feel this may be his bottom. I mentioned he was staying with a coworker this week and they went to an amusment park this evening for his last night there... he text me he was having an awful time, that he felt hopeless. I didn't know what to say to that last text. When I wasn't home he called and was very upset on the phone. He was too heavy to fit on the rides and had to get off and watch his coworker ride them. Talk about a punch to the gut. I know he is embarrassed and devastated. He said before he has to lose weight so I guess now he will. As a parent I seen him get bullied in school because he was always the bigger boy. He goes back to his apartment tomorrow and has made it known to us that he is beyond scared for his life staying alone. He gets in his head. He literally has not slept a full night in 2 weeks. His mind races constantly. I am standing firm on not breaking the lease for him and having him move home but honestly if something happens I am going to feel like it was all my fault. I know I have spent so much over the past years and everytime he asked for help we did because we always thought this was it.. and well he never followed through.
We have tried encouraging sober living this time. No lease, month to month until he gets clarity but no he keeps saying he won't do that. So back to living alone...
I am going to watch the video now.
