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Substance Abuse
What would you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 758339" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>In my experience I feel you need to release the discomfort, loneliness, pain and hurt you are envisioning your son is experiencing to "him". Perhaps this is what he needs to want and desire something better for himself. If we cushion all the boo boos for them, they don't even know they need to get better.</p><p></p><p>Part of the way I "got better" (not cured) is to keep coming and reading other people's posts. Eventually, you will wake up from this "FOG"-fear, obligation and guilt. It doesn't go away completely and it's hard for us to believe we can ever get better from enabling but you have to be ready to accept the change in the role you will have to play. You see, you are waiting for "him" to be the change when in fact, it's YOU who has to be the change in the situation. It will be the "cherry on the top" if he does change someday but that could take a long time. In the meanwhile, you owe it to yourself to get better and be stronger. You can do it but only when you're really ready to pull away from making him the center of your universe.</p><p></p><p>Start with small changes. Only you need to know what you're doing. As you make these small changes you eventually get stronger and able to try to function as a separate human being. When you notice these things for yourself, you become empowered.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 758339, member: 23405"] In my experience I feel you need to release the discomfort, loneliness, pain and hurt you are envisioning your son is experiencing to "him". Perhaps this is what he needs to want and desire something better for himself. If we cushion all the boo boos for them, they don't even know they need to get better. Part of the way I "got better" (not cured) is to keep coming and reading other people's posts. Eventually, you will wake up from this "FOG"-fear, obligation and guilt. It doesn't go away completely and it's hard for us to believe we can ever get better from enabling but you have to be ready to accept the change in the role you will have to play. You see, you are waiting for "him" to be the change when in fact, it's YOU who has to be the change in the situation. It will be the "cherry on the top" if he does change someday but that could take a long time. In the meanwhile, you owe it to yourself to get better and be stronger. You can do it but only when you're really ready to pull away from making him the center of your universe. Start with small changes. Only you need to know what you're doing. As you make these small changes you eventually get stronger and able to try to function as a separate human being. When you notice these things for yourself, you become empowered. [/QUOTE]
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