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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622029" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Here is an interesting thing about what is happening on my detachment journey. For those who aren't aware of it, my mother was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive and continues to be so to this day. Coming out from her belief about who I was has taken all of my life so far. When I decided to try detaching, to try honesty with my kids...I found myself displaying that same, almost emotionless kind of honesty with my sister. My brother. My husband. and finally, last night...with my mother.</p><p></p><p>It was easy.</p><p></p><p>I feel clean, right, and clear.</p><p></p><p>She called. husband answered. She interrupted husband's trying to be polite to someone he really doesn't like at all to ask whether I was here. I was upstairs, came down, and took the call. husband told me later that my mother had been rude. <u>I called her back and confronted her with that.</u></p><p></p><p>This is such a triumph for me.</p><p></p><p>She got all in a huff and said she did not have time for this s****. Then, she hung up on me. It occurred to me immediately that a person who had not been rude to husband on purpose would have 1) been surprised to learn he had taken whatever it was she said that way and 2) would have asked to talk to husband to apologize right then.</p><p></p><p>It is surprisingly, wonderfully, happily enlightening to finally see my mother for who and how she is. The hanging up part, the rageful, contemptuous response part are nothing new. My response to it is something very new. </p><p></p><p>Freedom is good.</p><p></p><p>Detachment from the emotional components of our reactions to others ROCKS.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Then? Like little kids, we called husband's Italian mom and told on my mother.</p><p></p><p>Ha! You can imagine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622029, member: 17461"] Here is an interesting thing about what is happening on my detachment journey. For those who aren't aware of it, my mother was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive and continues to be so to this day. Coming out from her belief about who I was has taken all of my life so far. When I decided to try detaching, to try honesty with my kids...I found myself displaying that same, almost emotionless kind of honesty with my sister. My brother. My husband. and finally, last night...with my mother. It was easy. I feel clean, right, and clear. She called. husband answered. She interrupted husband's trying to be polite to someone he really doesn't like at all to ask whether I was here. I was upstairs, came down, and took the call. husband told me later that my mother had been rude. [U]I called her back and confronted her with that.[/U] This is such a triumph for me. She got all in a huff and said she did not have time for this s****. Then, she hung up on me. It occurred to me immediately that a person who had not been rude to husband on purpose would have 1) been surprised to learn he had taken whatever it was she said that way and 2) would have asked to talk to husband to apologize right then. It is surprisingly, wonderfully, happily enlightening to finally see my mother for who and how she is. The hanging up part, the rageful, contemptuous response part are nothing new. My response to it is something very new. Freedom is good. Detachment from the emotional components of our reactions to others ROCKS. :O) Cedar Then? Like little kids, we called husband's Italian mom and told on my mother. Ha! You can imagine. [/QUOTE]
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