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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622077" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Could you call brother in law and tell him what you've just told us, Albatross?</p><p></p><p>No one expects us to be perfect but us. Even if he holds a grudge (and someone as supportive as you've told us he is probably will not) you will know you have taken a right and positive action toward someone you cherish.</p><p></p><p>There is an old Billy Joel song about having been a fool for lesser things than loving someone. That is like, my life motto.</p><p></p><p>I try so hard not to be foolish, but sometimes, I am.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>I know what you mean, about people being afraid to ask about difficult child. When I am fresh into a crisis, I can't seem to stop babbling about it once I start.</p><p></p><p>It's like a waterfall has been released, and I can hear myself and wish I could stop, but I can't.</p><p></p><p>I don't go anywhere when I am in bad crisis with difficult child. (After the beating, for example.) Anything would set me off and boy, I just could not get hold of myself. Then? Someone we barely knew came to the door? She asked me how I was and BOOM. I just had to stand there listening to myself try to stop dumping. (There is a movie where Jim Carrey says: "Somebody stop me!" That's what it felt like to be me, that day.)</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>That is part of why it is such a relief to know the site is there. I can post until the pressure is down enough to get a lid on those feelings, so I can function in the real world.</p><p></p><p>Your pain is real, Albatross. We suffer so hard that it takes time to believe it happened to us, that it happened to someone we love. Everyone in the world sees what our kids have created of themselves. We are their mothers. We know who they were meant to be. It hurts so deep to see the changed reactions to our kids, to see the kids themselves, dirty and resentful and in trouble, every day something else.</p><p></p><p>You are living in a kind of pain most people cannot imagine. There are no words to describe it. There is no way someone who has not lived through watching a child self destruct could ever truly get it, what this is like.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here with us. We do get it. There is a kind of healing in being heard, in knowing there is somewhere our pain will be understood.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could take it away or make it better or easier for you, Albatross. Everything about this is impossible. Somehow, we do survive, we do find joy again. That time will come for you, that time when you are healing and can look back at this time, and it will be safely over.</p><p></p><p>Now, in this time when everything is so jagged and raw and hurtful, we have one another. Small comfort sometimes, but enough to get us through.</p><p></p><p>Holding you and your family in my thoughts today, Albatross.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622077, member: 17461"] Could you call brother in law and tell him what you've just told us, Albatross? No one expects us to be perfect but us. Even if he holds a grudge (and someone as supportive as you've told us he is probably will not) you will know you have taken a right and positive action toward someone you cherish. There is an old Billy Joel song about having been a fool for lesser things than loving someone. That is like, my life motto. I try so hard not to be foolish, but sometimes, I am. :O) I know what you mean, about people being afraid to ask about difficult child. When I am fresh into a crisis, I can't seem to stop babbling about it once I start. It's like a waterfall has been released, and I can hear myself and wish I could stop, but I can't. I don't go anywhere when I am in bad crisis with difficult child. (After the beating, for example.) Anything would set me off and boy, I just could not get hold of myself. Then? Someone we barely knew came to the door? She asked me how I was and BOOM. I just had to stand there listening to myself try to stop dumping. (There is a movie where Jim Carrey says: "Somebody stop me!" That's what it felt like to be me, that day.) Ew. That is part of why it is such a relief to know the site is there. I can post until the pressure is down enough to get a lid on those feelings, so I can function in the real world. Your pain is real, Albatross. We suffer so hard that it takes time to believe it happened to us, that it happened to someone we love. Everyone in the world sees what our kids have created of themselves. We are their mothers. We know who they were meant to be. It hurts so deep to see the changed reactions to our kids, to see the kids themselves, dirty and resentful and in trouble, every day something else. You are living in a kind of pain most people cannot imagine. There are no words to describe it. There is no way someone who has not lived through watching a child self destruct could ever truly get it, what this is like. I am glad you are here with us. We do get it. There is a kind of healing in being heard, in knowing there is somewhere our pain will be understood. I wish I could take it away or make it better or easier for you, Albatross. Everything about this is impossible. Somehow, we do survive, we do find joy again. That time will come for you, that time when you are healing and can look back at this time, and it will be safely over. Now, in this time when everything is so jagged and raw and hurtful, we have one another. Small comfort sometimes, but enough to get us through. Holding you and your family in my thoughts today, Albatross. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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