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Parent Emeritus
What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622143" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Child, you are developing major muscles. You are like, the Arnold Schwartzenegger of detachment. Right now, Child? It's not theory. It's not "Boy, am I going to change my situation the next time I see that darn difficult child of mine!" </p><p></p><p>You are in the trenches with your son now, Child. It is face to face, right up front, personal as can be. Every emotion, every action, every word you hear him say, every response you make, is a brand new thing, a creation of the future, a break with the past. You are navigating a mine field, Child. You have a certain amount of information and a great deal of faith and that's it.</p><p></p><p>And that's it...except for the vulnerability your love for this so troubled son creates inside the heart of you, where courage has to live now, instead of the vulnerability of motherlove.</p><p></p><p>I could cry, for the pain of it.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to remember that what I have done in the past hasn't worked. It hurts me to think that maybe, nothing will work....</p><p></p><p>But it is what it is. And we do the best, the very best, that we know or can learn.</p><p></p><p>And that has to be enough, because that is all there is.</p><p></p><p>**************</p><p></p><p>You know, I was responding to one of Recovering's posts this morning, and found myself telling her about the practice I have begun of watching the sunrise while practicing the meditation of gently reminding myself not to give life to my thoughts, during that time. That practice, which I read about in Pema Chodron's <u>Comfortable With Uncertainty</u>, has brought me a steadiness I did not have, before. The sunrise coming, the light rising, the blaze of the sun over the horizon, the rising heat of the day, begun.... It's an incredible, bona fide experience when approached with that mindset, Child. </p><p></p><p>It's an intimate moment between me and my own, living presence, with nothing between us, at all.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622143, member: 17461"] Child, you are developing major muscles. You are like, the Arnold Schwartzenegger of detachment. Right now, Child? It's not theory. It's not "Boy, am I going to change my situation the next time I see that darn difficult child of mine!" You are in the trenches with your son now, Child. It is face to face, right up front, personal as can be. Every emotion, every action, every word you hear him say, every response you make, is a brand new thing, a creation of the future, a break with the past. You are navigating a mine field, Child. You have a certain amount of information and a great deal of faith and that's it. And that's it...except for the vulnerability your love for this so troubled son creates inside the heart of you, where courage has to live now, instead of the vulnerability of motherlove. I could cry, for the pain of it. It helps me to remember that what I have done in the past hasn't worked. It hurts me to think that maybe, nothing will work.... But it is what it is. And we do the best, the very best, that we know or can learn. And that has to be enough, because that is all there is. ************** You know, I was responding to one of Recovering's posts this morning, and found myself telling her about the practice I have begun of watching the sunrise while practicing the meditation of gently reminding myself not to give life to my thoughts, during that time. That practice, which I read about in Pema Chodron's [U]Comfortable With Uncertainty[/U], has brought me a steadiness I did not have, before. The sunrise coming, the light rising, the blaze of the sun over the horizon, the rising heat of the day, begun.... It's an incredible, bona fide experience when approached with that mindset, Child. It's an intimate moment between me and my own, living presence, with nothing between us, at all. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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