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Parent Emeritus
What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 622599" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I think something I really struggle with is that honesty with my difficult child can have some very unintended consequences. There is a saying in Al-Anon, I can't remember exactly how it goes, but basically it is the idea of letting our loved one bear the consequences of their choices but don't CREATE circumstances that we know will lead to painful consequences. For my difficult child at least, though he is a grown man, he reacts to any sort of criticism (or sometimes even the most benign interest) more like a moody teenager, and I can anticipate some sort of self-destructive reaction. So I am less than honest because I know what the end result will be. I suppose I can look back and wonder, maybe if I had been MORE honest with him over the years he would be less reactive (but maybe not). It is a fine line to walk, being honest without being cruel, being loving but not rescuing, being supportive without being all "attaboy," etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 622599, member: 17720"] I think something I really struggle with is that honesty with my difficult child can have some very unintended consequences. There is a saying in Al-Anon, I can't remember exactly how it goes, but basically it is the idea of letting our loved one bear the consequences of their choices but don't CREATE circumstances that we know will lead to painful consequences. For my difficult child at least, though he is a grown man, he reacts to any sort of criticism (or sometimes even the most benign interest) more like a moody teenager, and I can anticipate some sort of self-destructive reaction. So I am less than honest because I know what the end result will be. I suppose I can look back and wonder, maybe if I had been MORE honest with him over the years he would be less reactive (but maybe not). It is a fine line to walk, being honest without being cruel, being loving but not rescuing, being supportive without being all "attaboy," etc. [/QUOTE]
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What's happening to me in detachment...
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