Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What's happening to me in detachment...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 623636" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>What a difference two hours can make. I just received a call from Shreveport, Louisiana. My whole self flashed before my eyes before I picked up that phone. It was truly surreal and I was dizzy, physically dizzy. </p><p></p><p>difficult child was arrested last night and is in jail. I talked with him for the five minutes until the call cut off and then he called again and we talked another five minutes. He said he was in WalMart and was hungry and stole food and they arrested him.</p><p></p><p>Who knows if that is true and it honestly doesn't matter what happened.</p><p></p><p>The fact is, he is back in jail and according to the terms of his parole, he goes to prison for four years now.</p><p></p><p>Am I surprised? No. Am I going through the stages of grief? Yes. The only person I have called is SO, and we talked through it all. And I am posting here.</p><p></p><p>Then I am getting back to my day as I have already planned it.</p><p></p><p>He wants me to come and bail him out---says $200 is the bail. I said no. </p><p></p><p>I said everything that was in my mind and heart. At one point I was yelling. I was not mean but I was very clear and very direct. I told him he keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again because he won't accept and he won't admit that his way is not working. That he needs help. That he can't do it alone. That we love him so much and believe he can do anything and has the capacity to do make a good life. At one point he said, I know. </p><p></p><p>I told him this is the most frustrating thing I have ever done, to watch him do this. He said (first time I have heard this) that he talked to a recovery place that is Christian-based and when he told them he doesn't believe in God they told him the place would not be a good fit for him. That doesn't sound like it's totally true, but hey, maybe it is. I said it doesn't matter if it's a doorknob, you need to believe in something greater than yourself.</p><p></p><p>And you need to sit in 90 meetings in 90 days and stay there all night around the clock if you have to in order to hear and let in something new.</p><p></p><p>I told him I can tell you have made progress over the past few weeks. I can see it. But you are still doing the same things because you believe you CAN. And you can't. </p><p></p><p>I am not even sure at all I believe that he just stole food or that it was even WalMart. Who knows? </p><p></p><p>I am seeing that his journey has to continue down this path, it appears. He has not hit bottom and he is not going to hit it because of or despite anything I do or don't do. It is his show. He is the only one who can run his own show, him and God---if he lets God in to help him.</p><p></p><p>He is busy trying to get somebody, anybody to get him out so he can go to his PO and fall on his mercy. That may work and it may not, but I'm not going to be part of it. </p><p></p><p>He said I'll go to rehab if you will bail me out. Folks, that was/is a hard one, but I've been there done that and that doesn't work. </p><p></p><p>What an insane situation. What an insane disease. I hate this disease with all of my being. I hate the denial that prevents people from getting the help they need. </p><p></p><p>I just wanted you all to know. Please pray for me and for him. I know what to do. I am going to feel my feelings, cycle through the stages, use my tools and go on. I've done it before and I will do it again.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, I believed that he would not make it past 60 days because he hasn't been able to do that yet. It's what? April 3. He got out February 14. I hate to be right about something like this, but it is so predictable. So sad and so stupid.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 623636, member: 17542"] What a difference two hours can make. I just received a call from Shreveport, Louisiana. My whole self flashed before my eyes before I picked up that phone. It was truly surreal and I was dizzy, physically dizzy. difficult child was arrested last night and is in jail. I talked with him for the five minutes until the call cut off and then he called again and we talked another five minutes. He said he was in WalMart and was hungry and stole food and they arrested him. Who knows if that is true and it honestly doesn't matter what happened. The fact is, he is back in jail and according to the terms of his parole, he goes to prison for four years now. Am I surprised? No. Am I going through the stages of grief? Yes. The only person I have called is SO, and we talked through it all. And I am posting here. Then I am getting back to my day as I have already planned it. He wants me to come and bail him out---says $200 is the bail. I said no. I said everything that was in my mind and heart. At one point I was yelling. I was not mean but I was very clear and very direct. I told him he keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again because he won't accept and he won't admit that his way is not working. That he needs help. That he can't do it alone. That we love him so much and believe he can do anything and has the capacity to do make a good life. At one point he said, I know. I told him this is the most frustrating thing I have ever done, to watch him do this. He said (first time I have heard this) that he talked to a recovery place that is Christian-based and when he told them he doesn't believe in God they told him the place would not be a good fit for him. That doesn't sound like it's totally true, but hey, maybe it is. I said it doesn't matter if it's a doorknob, you need to believe in something greater than yourself. And you need to sit in 90 meetings in 90 days and stay there all night around the clock if you have to in order to hear and let in something new. I told him I can tell you have made progress over the past few weeks. I can see it. But you are still doing the same things because you believe you CAN. And you can't. I am not even sure at all I believe that he just stole food or that it was even WalMart. Who knows? I am seeing that his journey has to continue down this path, it appears. He has not hit bottom and he is not going to hit it because of or despite anything I do or don't do. It is his show. He is the only one who can run his own show, him and God---if he lets God in to help him. He is busy trying to get somebody, anybody to get him out so he can go to his PO and fall on his mercy. That may work and it may not, but I'm not going to be part of it. He said I'll go to rehab if you will bail me out. Folks, that was/is a hard one, but I've been there done that and that doesn't work. What an insane situation. What an insane disease. I hate this disease with all of my being. I hate the denial that prevents people from getting the help they need. I just wanted you all to know. Please pray for me and for him. I know what to do. I am going to feel my feelings, cycle through the stages, use my tools and go on. I've done it before and I will do it again. Sadly, I believed that he would not make it past 60 days because he hasn't been able to do that yet. It's what? April 3. He got out February 14. I hate to be right about something like this, but it is so predictable. So sad and so stupid. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What's happening to me in detachment...
Top