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Parent Emeritus
What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 623987" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I was also struck by the lack of responsibility he is accepting for all of this. Cancer and car accidents "happen" and we have trouble believing it. Not shoplifting. </p><p></p><p>I was also impressed by the specificity and intricacy of his instructions on how he would like YOU to handle things for him! Good grief! My gut reaction is, he is thinking ahead quite clearly and should have done that in Walmart! </p><p></p><p>It's up to him to tell his PO the "whole story" and not just that he got a charge. It shouldn't be your dilemma whether to tell the WHOLE story (including the x-box controller and the beer, which is probably NOT what your son meant when he asked you to speak to the PO). I have often thought how many of my son's issues are rooted in a basic inability to just be honest. Rigorous honesty, as they keep pounding home in AA. If they could just learn to be HONEST...</p><p></p><p>Obviously I don't know what's best here, COM. I think your son would really benefit from some sort of long-term addiction treatment, but he has to stop scheming and be still long enough to acknowledge his demons. I don't know how or why a person finally gets to that point. I've had people in my life that, no matter how bad it got, just kept climbing deeper into the holes they dug for themselves -- and would slap the hands away of anyone who tried to reach in and help them. Others, for seemingly no reason at all, just one day "got it." I SO hope that day is coming soon for your son, whatever path he takes to get there. But it is HIS path and he has to travel it in HIS time. Until then, I hope that you are finding a place of refuge from all of this today and that you are continuing to take good care of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 623987, member: 17720"] I was also struck by the lack of responsibility he is accepting for all of this. Cancer and car accidents "happen" and we have trouble believing it. Not shoplifting. I was also impressed by the specificity and intricacy of his instructions on how he would like YOU to handle things for him! Good grief! My gut reaction is, he is thinking ahead quite clearly and should have done that in Walmart! It's up to him to tell his PO the "whole story" and not just that he got a charge. It shouldn't be your dilemma whether to tell the WHOLE story (including the x-box controller and the beer, which is probably NOT what your son meant when he asked you to speak to the PO). I have often thought how many of my son's issues are rooted in a basic inability to just be honest. Rigorous honesty, as they keep pounding home in AA. If they could just learn to be HONEST... Obviously I don't know what's best here, COM. I think your son would really benefit from some sort of long-term addiction treatment, but he has to stop scheming and be still long enough to acknowledge his demons. I don't know how or why a person finally gets to that point. I've had people in my life that, no matter how bad it got, just kept climbing deeper into the holes they dug for themselves -- and would slap the hands away of anyone who tried to reach in and help them. Others, for seemingly no reason at all, just one day "got it." I SO hope that day is coming soon for your son, whatever path he takes to get there. But it is HIS path and he has to travel it in HIS time. Until then, I hope that you are finding a place of refuge from all of this today and that you are continuing to take good care of you. [/QUOTE]
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What's happening to me in detachment...
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