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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625066" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I read it MWM. I agree with it all. It makes perfect sense to me. </p><p></p><p>I have read it before. I just don't know how to DO IT. </p><p></p><p>Ugh. </p><p></p><p>I know the answer to this. It is keep moving forward with all of these tools, and little by little I will get better. I am recovering from the disease of enabling. I am trying to live with an impossible situation, the watching of self-destruction of someone I love very much. While stopping doing anything.</p><p></p><p>One of the things we learn in Al-Anon is not take things personally. That sounds like a quick and easy saying, but it's not. Most of us take everything personally. It causes us to live twisted up about all kinds of things.</p><p></p><p>My son's addiction is not about me. I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. The Three Cs. </p><p></p><p>It truly has nothing to do with me. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think that having any contact with him gives him some kind of crazy idea that he can still manipulate me into doing what he wants. Not what I want. What he wants.</p><p></p><p>And when I do one single thing, one little thing for him, he pushes the door hard, hard, hard to get it open wider for more things. </p><p></p><p>And then I think that maybe if I have no contact with him that idea will go away. He will finally know he has to stand on his own and do something different.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, if I knew that would happen, I would do it in an instant. No matter how hard it would be for me.</p><p></p><p>But today, I am thinking first of myself so much more often. What do I want to do? </p><p></p><p>I am wanting to do nearly nothing right now. Just be in his presence, just to see him, every week or so. Just to know he is alive.</p><p></p><p>Every time, my contact and my actions get less and less and less. I feel it shrinking to nearly nothing. Maybe it needs to be nearly nothing. </p><p></p><p>Who knows???? Time is my friend. I am going to let time take its time and I will be able to see more clearly as the days go by. I am counting on it. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for your words and your guidance. It is so good to hear and to read.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625066, member: 17542"] I read it MWM. I agree with it all. It makes perfect sense to me. I have read it before. I just don't know how to DO IT. Ugh. I know the answer to this. It is keep moving forward with all of these tools, and little by little I will get better. I am recovering from the disease of enabling. I am trying to live with an impossible situation, the watching of self-destruction of someone I love very much. While stopping doing anything. One of the things we learn in Al-Anon is not take things personally. That sounds like a quick and easy saying, but it's not. Most of us take everything personally. It causes us to live twisted up about all kinds of things. My son's addiction is not about me. I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. The Three Cs. It truly has nothing to do with me. Sometimes I think that having any contact with him gives him some kind of crazy idea that he can still manipulate me into doing what he wants. Not what I want. What he wants. And when I do one single thing, one little thing for him, he pushes the door hard, hard, hard to get it open wider for more things. And then I think that maybe if I have no contact with him that idea will go away. He will finally know he has to stand on his own and do something different. Of course, if I knew that would happen, I would do it in an instant. No matter how hard it would be for me. But today, I am thinking first of myself so much more often. What do I want to do? I am wanting to do nearly nothing right now. Just be in his presence, just to see him, every week or so. Just to know he is alive. Every time, my contact and my actions get less and less and less. I feel it shrinking to nearly nothing. Maybe it needs to be nearly nothing. Who knows???? Time is my friend. I am going to let time take its time and I will be able to see more clearly as the days go by. I am counting on it. Thank you for your words and your guidance. It is so good to hear and to read. [/QUOTE]
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