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General Parenting
When foreign adoptions fail--Montana Ranch
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 114311" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Our difficult child told us she wishes we had not told her she was adopted from the beginning. I'm not suggesting that's the way to go but I did find it interesting. She said she would have rather not known and found out later. I asked her if she would have felt we lied to her if we had done that and she said no...who knows.</p><p></p><p>Most adoptees do not consider the boyfriend because they don't understand the role the man plays in conception until much older. My difficult child thought that my husband was her boyfriend, she didn't realize there was another man out there. No wonder she hated me so much since she thought I took him away from her bm. To this day she still doesn;t ask anything about her boyfriend and has expressed no desire to find him, although she does want to find her bm.</p><p></p><p>This ranch sounds like a wonderful place. I'm not surprised at the number of foreign adoptions that are failing. We have a fellow adoptive mom who started a foreign adoption agency in our area years ago and we predicted it. It's no wonder when you see the number of domestic adoptions that are troubled and the problems with kids who were left in orphanages in other countries just magnifies the whole situation. </p><p></p><p>We did receive social and medical history but it was very sketchy and only left more questions. When we contacted the agency two years ago to get clarification the bm promised to write a letter and give us information and never did.</p><p></p><p>I can't even imagine how my difficult child feels knowing that she is not being raised by the person that gave birth to her, and that that person decided for whatever reason that she couldn't parent her. It took almost 16 long, hard years for difficult child to accept us. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 114311, member: 59"] Our difficult child told us she wishes we had not told her she was adopted from the beginning. I'm not suggesting that's the way to go but I did find it interesting. She said she would have rather not known and found out later. I asked her if she would have felt we lied to her if we had done that and she said no...who knows. Most adoptees do not consider the boyfriend because they don't understand the role the man plays in conception until much older. My difficult child thought that my husband was her boyfriend, she didn't realize there was another man out there. No wonder she hated me so much since she thought I took him away from her bm. To this day she still doesn;t ask anything about her boyfriend and has expressed no desire to find him, although she does want to find her bm. This ranch sounds like a wonderful place. I'm not surprised at the number of foreign adoptions that are failing. We have a fellow adoptive mom who started a foreign adoption agency in our area years ago and we predicted it. It's no wonder when you see the number of domestic adoptions that are troubled and the problems with kids who were left in orphanages in other countries just magnifies the whole situation. We did receive social and medical history but it was very sketchy and only left more questions. When we contacted the agency two years ago to get clarification the bm promised to write a letter and give us information and never did. I can't even imagine how my difficult child feels knowing that she is not being raised by the person that gave birth to her, and that that person decided for whatever reason that she couldn't parent her. It took almost 16 long, hard years for difficult child to accept us. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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When foreign adoptions fail--Montana Ranch
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