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When is it time to give up?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 92819" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son Scott isn't particularly interested in his birthmother, I don't believe. I don't think he's ever gone to Hong Kong, and I gave her his birthmother's address. I think he is horrified because she is an atheist. He has two half-sibs too, but, as far as I know, he hasn't met them either. I think he'll meet them one day, but he will judge them harshly for their atheism--his whole life is now his wife and his own personal interpretation of the "literal word" of the Bible. </p><p>Scott was a very nice part of our lives for a long time, but it never felt like he was as bonded to us (EXCEPT FOR HIS SISTER, WHOM HE DUMPED). I felt closer to the other kids--we are as close as me and biological kid. </p><p>I hate to bring this up, and hope it's not true, but Scott is HIGHLY materialistic. He has a huge house in a fancy suburb of Chicago. He has a Lexxus van (with all the bells and whistles and it's paid up) and an Infity (also paid cash). When he came up to Wisconsin for Mothers Day, the last time that he ever recognized the holiday, he brought K. with him and did NOT want to bring her to my humble home. It is quite small without new furniture. I had to put my foot down and insist he come or I wouldn't go to meet them in a park. I'm not sorry that I did put my foot down, but it has crossed my mind (and that of Scott's sibs) that he feels he is too good for us. He has always been twenty to thirty IQ points above everyone else, and has always saved up to buy the best stuff for himself. For a while he was very generous, especially with his younger siblings. Then, after he met K., he decided that birthdays and Christmas shouldn't be about presents and gave them pretty much garage sale stuff (his wife has a huge diamond though so it doesn't apply to them). It's like he's the opposite of what he was before. Look, we don't want his money and we love him even if he gives us NO presents, but his change was so abrupt; so sudden. It makes my head spin to think about it. So many possibilities. </p><p>I need to move on. And, after my talk with my ex, I think we both are realizing that, with a grandchild on the way, we need to focus on those who want us, not the one who doesn't. That's what I'm going to do. I'm blessed that I have four other wonderful children, and this grandbaby that is making me walk on thin air. Thanks, guys.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 92819, member: 1550"] My son Scott isn't particularly interested in his birthmother, I don't believe. I don't think he's ever gone to Hong Kong, and I gave her his birthmother's address. I think he is horrified because she is an atheist. He has two half-sibs too, but, as far as I know, he hasn't met them either. I think he'll meet them one day, but he will judge them harshly for their atheism--his whole life is now his wife and his own personal interpretation of the "literal word" of the Bible. Scott was a very nice part of our lives for a long time, but it never felt like he was as bonded to us (EXCEPT FOR HIS SISTER, WHOM HE DUMPED). I felt closer to the other kids--we are as close as me and biological kid. I hate to bring this up, and hope it's not true, but Scott is HIGHLY materialistic. He has a huge house in a fancy suburb of Chicago. He has a Lexxus van (with all the bells and whistles and it's paid up) and an Infity (also paid cash). When he came up to Wisconsin for Mothers Day, the last time that he ever recognized the holiday, he brought K. with him and did NOT want to bring her to my humble home. It is quite small without new furniture. I had to put my foot down and insist he come or I wouldn't go to meet them in a park. I'm not sorry that I did put my foot down, but it has crossed my mind (and that of Scott's sibs) that he feels he is too good for us. He has always been twenty to thirty IQ points above everyone else, and has always saved up to buy the best stuff for himself. For a while he was very generous, especially with his younger siblings. Then, after he met K., he decided that birthdays and Christmas shouldn't be about presents and gave them pretty much garage sale stuff (his wife has a huge diamond though so it doesn't apply to them). It's like he's the opposite of what he was before. Look, we don't want his money and we love him even if he gives us NO presents, but his change was so abrupt; so sudden. It makes my head spin to think about it. So many possibilities. I need to move on. And, after my talk with my ex, I think we both are realizing that, with a grandchild on the way, we need to focus on those who want us, not the one who doesn't. That's what I'm going to do. I'm blessed that I have four other wonderful children, and this grandbaby that is making me walk on thin air. Thanks, guys. [/QUOTE]
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