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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 675163" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>At the beginning of your own.</p><p></p><p>Who knew?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Or with seeing ourselves. With stepping out of the shadow self and understanding it was a construct. Just...stepping aside, and into the Light.</p><p></p><p>Like the dragonfly imagery.</p><p></p><p>How different the stars seem, though they are the same stars we loved and had become so familiar with during our lives on the bottom, looking up at the stars from beneath the waves.</p><p></p><p>Same stars.</p><p></p><p>So different.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>No. I was so angry at God when these terrible things happened to my children, Copa. There are no atheists in foxholes so they say. I was younger then, and more arrogant and certain of all things. When I did pray, there in that foxhole I found myself in when my children ~ when everything fell apart? I would roar: "Surely You don't mean <em>my</em> children! Surely, You've made a mistake!!! <u>You</u> are mistaken! I refuse to allow this. I will save them myself!"</p><p></p><p>And we have seen how that worked out.</p><p></p><p>Here is a true thing I forgot to remember, Copa: I survived everything my mother did. The rest of it was my responsibility. I did, and you did too Copa, create a rich, full life. Looking back now, there are so many things I would have done differently ~ but the truth is I would not have changed that I did try, with my family of origin. The breakage, for me, had to do with my children. That is what broke me. Not my mother or sister...nor could they. I have needed to see differently, have needed to recover from toxicities that were never true. Almost without effort Copa and Serenity, we have done that. Found evidence of trauma, and confronted and cleared it and gone on to the next.</p><p></p><p>Now, we will begin crawling to the surface, drawn this time by happy curiosity.</p><p></p><p>Like always.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 675163, member: 17461"] Yes. :O) At the beginning of your own. Who knew? Or with seeing ourselves. With stepping out of the shadow self and understanding it was a construct. Just...stepping aside, and into the Light. Like the dragonfly imagery. How different the stars seem, though they are the same stars we loved and had become so familiar with during our lives on the bottom, looking up at the stars from beneath the waves. Same stars. So different. No. I was so angry at God when these terrible things happened to my children, Copa. There are no atheists in foxholes so they say. I was younger then, and more arrogant and certain of all things. When I did pray, there in that foxhole I found myself in when my children ~ when everything fell apart? I would roar: "Surely You don't mean [I]my[/I] children! Surely, You've made a mistake!!! [U]You[/U] are mistaken! I refuse to allow this. I will save them myself!" And we have seen how that worked out. Here is a true thing I forgot to remember, Copa: I survived everything my mother did. The rest of it was my responsibility. I did, and you did too Copa, create a rich, full life. Looking back now, there are so many things I would have done differently ~ but the truth is I would not have changed that I did try, with my family of origin. The breakage, for me, had to do with my children. That is what broke me. Not my mother or sister...nor could they. I have needed to see differently, have needed to recover from toxicities that were never true. Almost without effort Copa and Serenity, we have done that. Found evidence of trauma, and confronted and cleared it and gone on to the next. Now, we will begin crawling to the surface, drawn this time by happy curiosity. Like always. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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