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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675173" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You know a few months ago I got enraged at M when he insisted we had to live in just one place. Either stay here or go East. Not both. Because of the logistics of it. (I mean it is across the country. We have 3 animals. I do not drive freeways and he is afraid to drive on freeways with me. I admit it: logistical issues.</p><p></p><p>I blew a gasket. It felt to me like forcing a choice between dreams and security. He backed down when he saw how upset I got. </p><p></p><p>I want both.</p><p>Yes. That is exactly what it is Cedar. You are quick. Now you have surpassed me, and I am afraid. It is far easier to focus on you, and not on myself. I am beginning to panic here.</p><p>I remember a few months ago I called the Child Psychoanalyst we saw for many years. When my son did not want to talk with him, I would. So we know each other well. I stopped when he told me that getting involved with M would be a mistake.</p><p></p><p>I called him in grief and fear about my son. I told him what the other psychiatrist/psychoanalyst had said about my son. That I had to face his extreme limitation. Could it be, I asked? Did you see it, all those years, I asked? </p><p></p><p>He responded: No. I saw that he could act servile sometimes, hard on himself, but no, I did not see it.</p><p></p><p>Could he really be in such terrible trouble from which he will never get better?</p><p></p><p>He answered: It happens sometimes. It has to happen to somebody. </p><p></p><p>Railing against fate, is it? Or defying it? Or trying to control it? Rejecting it.</p><p></p><p>Is that what you mean about hubris, Cedar?</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675173, member: 18958"] You know a few months ago I got enraged at M when he insisted we had to live in just one place. Either stay here or go East. Not both. Because of the logistics of it. (I mean it is across the country. We have 3 animals. I do not drive freeways and he is afraid to drive on freeways with me. I admit it: logistical issues. I blew a gasket. It felt to me like forcing a choice between dreams and security. He backed down when he saw how upset I got. I want both. Yes. That is exactly what it is Cedar. You are quick. Now you have surpassed me, and I am afraid. It is far easier to focus on you, and not on myself. I am beginning to panic here. I remember a few months ago I called the Child Psychoanalyst we saw for many years. When my son did not want to talk with him, I would. So we know each other well. I stopped when he told me that getting involved with M would be a mistake. I called him in grief and fear about my son. I told him what the other psychiatrist/psychoanalyst had said about my son. That I had to face his extreme limitation. Could it be, I asked? Did you see it, all those years, I asked? He responded: No. I saw that he could act servile sometimes, hard on himself, but no, I did not see it. Could he really be in such terrible trouble from which he will never get better? He answered: It happens sometimes. It has to happen to somebody. Railing against fate, is it? Or defying it? Or trying to control it? Rejecting it. Is that what you mean about hubris, Cedar? COPA [/QUOTE]
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When parents still abuse their adult children:
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