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General Discussions
Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675175" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>I am speaking for me here: I did not create a rich, full life. I created what looked like one. I did the exterior things that were within my grasp to do what I believed would actualize me and provide security and mobility. But I could not really step into it emotionally.</p><p></p><p>It was not until I adopted my son, I was around 40, that I began to mend. Then 10 years later when we first started leaving the country, was the next phase. And then 10 years after that, when I met M. And now the 2 years plus since my Mother died.</p><p></p><p>I was not a complete person for most of my life. I believe I am now.</p><p></p><p>I created what I thought would lead me to a good, rich life. The person who lived it was very limited.</p><p></p><p>I am filling it out now. With unspoken intentions that I could only until now represent by buying stuff. Now is the part that I feel may be hard.</p><p></p><p>Except maybe it will not be as hard as I feel.</p><p>The intentions. Maybe that is why we were not ready for "saudades". We could feel the yearning. But did not have fully formed intentions. But loss or being defensive, in danger, afraid or angry or feeling blocked. We needed intentions. Proudly, without fear. In the light. Not the shadows. The margins.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675175, member: 18958"] Yes. I am speaking for me here: I did not create a rich, full life. I created what looked like one. I did the exterior things that were within my grasp to do what I believed would actualize me and provide security and mobility. But I could not really step into it emotionally. It was not until I adopted my son, I was around 40, that I began to mend. Then 10 years later when we first started leaving the country, was the next phase. And then 10 years after that, when I met M. And now the 2 years plus since my Mother died. I was not a complete person for most of my life. I believe I am now. I created what I thought would lead me to a good, rich life. The person who lived it was very limited. I am filling it out now. With unspoken intentions that I could only until now represent by buying stuff. Now is the part that I feel may be hard. Except maybe it will not be as hard as I feel. The intentions. Maybe that is why we were not ready for "saudades". We could feel the yearning. But did not have fully formed intentions. But loss or being defensive, in danger, afraid or angry or feeling blocked. We needed intentions. Proudly, without fear. In the light. Not the shadows. The margins. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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