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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 675569" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Not only the physical acts of defiance, but if we go beyond the physical, there we will see fiery, courageous acts of spiritual defiance (think about it that way, ask that question and there the acts each of us has taken in defiance of her abuser will be) that must have goaded the grandiosity-addict abuser into a frenzy.</p><p></p><p>Ha!</p><p></p><p>Good.</p><p></p><p>For heaven's sake, look at the lengths our families of origin go to today, to break us. And we are still not getting the win until we finally get it that what they fight to "win" looks like a cheap tin medal, hardly worth having at all, let alone valuing as something that matters, to us. What is overt shunning if not an adult version of the covert shunning-in-place that we lived as children? That we did live it as children accounts for the unexplainable pain in being shunned (or in being stalked and chased down and persecuted ~ which is what they do before they shun ~ think about it, ask that question, and you will see incidents in your own lives where these were the patterns) today. Imagine the pain and outrage and unanswered questions for us now. And then, imagine what this same intensity of hurt and puzzlement meant for a child without words <em>and without allies</em>.</p><p></p><p>If I were not being more dignified these days, I would insert a "roar" right in here somewhere.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am not sure about this part Copa, but I think it is a good question. We did (I do) abandon myself but it has to do with my thinking, with my certainty that my thinking is ridiculous, romantic, worthless and wrong. (I feel a blow, here.)</p><p></p><p>Hello, mom.</p><p></p><p>I think it will turn out to have something to do with uncovering ourselves. Or relearning ~ I don't know, Copa. Something to do with concentration ~ with that ability to concentrate.</p><p></p><p>But right now I have to go concentrate on Happy Hour. D H is calling.</p><p></p><p>Merry Christmas, everybody. Walk out tonight to see the moon and stars. It will be magical.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 675569, member: 17461"] Not only the physical acts of defiance, but if we go beyond the physical, there we will see fiery, courageous acts of spiritual defiance (think about it that way, ask that question and there the acts each of us has taken in defiance of her abuser will be) that must have goaded the grandiosity-addict abuser into a frenzy. Ha! Good. For heaven's sake, look at the lengths our families of origin go to today, to break us. And we are still not getting the win until we finally get it that what they fight to "win" looks like a cheap tin medal, hardly worth having at all, let alone valuing as something that matters, to us. What is overt shunning if not an adult version of the covert shunning-in-place that we lived as children? That we did live it as children accounts for the unexplainable pain in being shunned (or in being stalked and chased down and persecuted ~ which is what they do before they shun ~ think about it, ask that question, and you will see incidents in your own lives where these were the patterns) today. Imagine the pain and outrage and unanswered questions for us now. And then, imagine what this same intensity of hurt and puzzlement meant for a child without words [I]and without allies[/I]. If I were not being more dignified these days, I would insert a "roar" right in here somewhere. :O) I am not sure about this part Copa, but I think it is a good question. We did (I do) abandon myself but it has to do with my thinking, with my certainty that my thinking is ridiculous, romantic, worthless and wrong. (I feel a blow, here.) Hello, mom. I think it will turn out to have something to do with uncovering ourselves. Or relearning ~ I don't know, Copa. Something to do with concentration ~ with that ability to concentrate. But right now I have to go concentrate on Happy Hour. D H is calling. Merry Christmas, everybody. Walk out tonight to see the moon and stars. It will be magical. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
When parents still abuse their adult children:
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