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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 656430" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Bingo.</p><p>As I said before, my sister went no contact with me the first so many years ago. WHY DID I TAKE HER BACK??? I wasn't as knowledgeable about what was going on in my family then, but life would have been much less painful without her. I did forget about her during those years and by now she would just be a little star in the sky among infinity. I have the God given ability to move on.</p><p></p><p>Why did my mother speak to on the phone me when I called her when she had known, in her head, that I had already been disowned in her heart? She wasn't doing it to be nice, trust me. She didn't do anything just to be nice when it came to me and was very snide when she spoke to me. She did it to hurt me. Everything she did to me was deliberately premeditated just to hurt me and make me feel like an outsider. Evil woman, she was, at least to me. And I am an outsider...and I'm glad. I would not want to be one of them. But it hurt when I realized the game she had played with me. But...but...but...</p><p></p><p>But it was my fault for not just letting her go before she could get in the final punch. I'd have been better off. She was a cruel, heartless lady when it came to me AND my kids. My kids are better for having not known her. From what I've been told, she used to have tiffs with Sis when she stayed with her too...threatening to leave, but not leaving. And she played favorites. Sound familiar? Playing favorites was banned in my house. But I digress back to me and the fact that she made me a DNA outsider.</p><p></p><p>It was a hard, good life lesson.</p><p></p><p>Yet her horrible words are still with me today. If you were not abused, you do not have tapes of your mother's derisive, mocking voice in your head all your life. I know my reality was real.</p><p></p><p>But she's dead. The things that keeps her going is my sister's involvement in my life, whether or not she is No Contact with me or not (I still believe she is unable to have the willpower not to read this, although I hope not). She also would get my poor father involved in the idiotic like a Facebook site gripe of hers. For what?</p><p></p><p>But as the days go by and she stays out of my way, at least so that I don't see or hear from her and my father is compliant about never bringing "them" up, I care less and less and will get over her. She did change after her divorce. Any stability she had, left when her marriage was over and I can't enable dating married men or abusive men anymore. I can't. I can't. In one of her posts that I read that one time, she asked what she did that was so awful that she was stuck with abusive boyfriend?</p><p></p><p>Well, she isn't stuck. She could do what she did to me, and I was never sp horrid to her as he is<em><strong> every single day.</strong></em> She could cut him off cold and be rid of him. It is HER fault that she can't. Her weakness. Her weak personality.</p><p></p><p>I think it's karma.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, let's write letters to those who were deliberately mean to us, burn them without sending them (that can be symbolic of the end of them regarding us) and just live our lives. I am getting better at this.</p><p></p><p>Karma. I should have changed my name from Midwest Mom to Karma.</p><p></p><p></p><p>JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 656430, member: 1550"] Bingo. As I said before, my sister went no contact with me the first so many years ago. WHY DID I TAKE HER BACK??? I wasn't as knowledgeable about what was going on in my family then, but life would have been much less painful without her. I did forget about her during those years and by now she would just be a little star in the sky among infinity. I have the God given ability to move on. Why did my mother speak to on the phone me when I called her when she had known, in her head, that I had already been disowned in her heart? She wasn't doing it to be nice, trust me. She didn't do anything just to be nice when it came to me and was very snide when she spoke to me. She did it to hurt me. Everything she did to me was deliberately premeditated just to hurt me and make me feel like an outsider. Evil woman, she was, at least to me. And I am an outsider...and I'm glad. I would not want to be one of them. But it hurt when I realized the game she had played with me. But...but...but... But it was my fault for not just letting her go before she could get in the final punch. I'd have been better off. She was a cruel, heartless lady when it came to me AND my kids. My kids are better for having not known her. From what I've been told, she used to have tiffs with Sis when she stayed with her too...threatening to leave, but not leaving. And she played favorites. Sound familiar? Playing favorites was banned in my house. But I digress back to me and the fact that she made me a DNA outsider. It was a hard, good life lesson. Yet her horrible words are still with me today. If you were not abused, you do not have tapes of your mother's derisive, mocking voice in your head all your life. I know my reality was real. But she's dead. The things that keeps her going is my sister's involvement in my life, whether or not she is No Contact with me or not (I still believe she is unable to have the willpower not to read this, although I hope not). She also would get my poor father involved in the idiotic like a Facebook site gripe of hers. For what? But as the days go by and she stays out of my way, at least so that I don't see or hear from her and my father is compliant about never bringing "them" up, I care less and less and will get over her. She did change after her divorce. Any stability she had, left when her marriage was over and I can't enable dating married men or abusive men anymore. I can't. I can't. In one of her posts that I read that one time, she asked what she did that was so awful that she was stuck with abusive boyfriend? Well, she isn't stuck. She could do what she did to me, and I was never sp horrid to her as he is[I][B] every single day.[/B][/I] She could cut him off cold and be rid of him. It is HER fault that she can't. Her weakness. Her weak personality. I think it's karma. Cedar, let's write letters to those who were deliberately mean to us, burn them without sending them (that can be symbolic of the end of them regarding us) and just live our lives. I am getting better at this. Karma. I should have changed my name from Midwest Mom to Karma. JMO. [/QUOTE]
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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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