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The Watercooler
When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 657013" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Whoa. It seems the post I have been posting for so long, here at the end of this thread, is gone. I feel badly about that. Wish I'd posted it here, as a map for all of us. In it, in this chain of consciousness post, I dug for and found and worked through so many shaming things, through so many vulnerabilities, all of it sealed in contempt. </p><p></p><p>I had a rough couple of days, a time when the shame of it was so heavy. Maybe, a time when I too wondered whether I would be able to come back from it, this time.</p><p></p><p>But I did come back.</p><p></p><p>Now it's gone. The post, I mean.</p><p></p><p>But I am changed.</p><p></p><p>I just can't leave the exact map for you, for anyone following this post.</p><p></p><p>What I can tell you is that you can do this. I am doing it, and you can, too. Beautiful music, the absolute certainty that I refused to live with those toxicities weakening me anymore ~ those things helped me.</p><p></p><p>It was like I had nothing to lose. So I lost what I had. Whatever roles were holding me up had to be let go, and I had to choose real. And I didn't know how to do that.</p><p></p><p>Beautiful music, finding the imagery I needed in the things I posted earlier in this thread for Confused, and for me, too ~ those things helped me know where I was. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 657013, member: 17461"] Whoa. It seems the post I have been posting for so long, here at the end of this thread, is gone. I feel badly about that. Wish I'd posted it here, as a map for all of us. In it, in this chain of consciousness post, I dug for and found and worked through so many shaming things, through so many vulnerabilities, all of it sealed in contempt. I had a rough couple of days, a time when the shame of it was so heavy. Maybe, a time when I too wondered whether I would be able to come back from it, this time. But I did come back. Now it's gone. The post, I mean. But I am changed. I just can't leave the exact map for you, for anyone following this post. What I can tell you is that you can do this. I am doing it, and you can, too. Beautiful music, the absolute certainty that I refused to live with those toxicities weakening me anymore ~ those things helped me. It was like I had nothing to lose. So I lost what I had. Whatever roles were holding me up had to be let go, and I had to choose real. And I didn't know how to do that. Beautiful music, finding the imagery I needed in the things I posted earlier in this thread for Confused, and for me, too ~ those things helped me know where I was. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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The Watercooler
When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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