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Parent Emeritus
When The Unknowing Tell You What You Need To Do
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749141" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Gosh, Blindsided. It is exhausting just reading your posts. Let alone living them. I have no answers that others have not mentioned already. But I will say this: Our lives are like balls of yarn. We can make something beautiful and useful with it, in the time we have or we can make a tangle. With respect to the tangle, we can either decide to wind it up, or we can keep on tangling. If we keep on tangling, people can try to unravel our mess. But they'll get caught up in the tangle.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter has spent her lifetime with her measure of yarn. She seems hellbent to continue as she has been doing. You have tried in every conceivable way to get that yarn together. Your post sets out how that has gone. This has exhausted you. Yet. You are on the ready to help her, if she decides to be open to an alternative.</p><p></p><p>Everything is a mess because she has made a mess. There are no solutions because she has not concerned herself with any. The dogs are her victims, as she is her own victim.</p><p></p><p>People stop drinking every single day. She could stop.</p><p></p><p>As I see it, how can you take responsibility for dogs that are a thousand miles away? If there are people who want to take responsibility, such as Sal, let them. But if you and your husband may soon need help taking care of yourselves, how can you expect yourselves to take responsibility for your daughter's messes, even if they are helpless animals.</p><p></p><p>As far as what other's say or think or do, most all of us here on the board have been judged (harshly) by family, neighbors, friends, or no-longer-friends. Nobody can understand what we go through. Nobody. Except people who have walked in our shoes. Please try to let, at least this agony go. The regard or opinions of these people do not count. They do not know. And they do not really know us. This is a kind of irresponsibility and cruelty to bring these issues to your door. At the very least they are carrying tales. Don't listen.</p><p></p><p>I am not making light of the dogs' situation. But somebody will step in to take care of them or to see they are cared for. I just don't see how it can or should be you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749141, member: 18958"] Gosh, Blindsided. It is exhausting just reading your posts. Let alone living them. I have no answers that others have not mentioned already. But I will say this: Our lives are like balls of yarn. We can make something beautiful and useful with it, in the time we have or we can make a tangle. With respect to the tangle, we can either decide to wind it up, or we can keep on tangling. If we keep on tangling, people can try to unravel our mess. But they'll get caught up in the tangle. Your daughter has spent her lifetime with her measure of yarn. She seems hellbent to continue as she has been doing. You have tried in every conceivable way to get that yarn together. Your post sets out how that has gone. This has exhausted you. Yet. You are on the ready to help her, if she decides to be open to an alternative. Everything is a mess because she has made a mess. There are no solutions because she has not concerned herself with any. The dogs are her victims, as she is her own victim. People stop drinking every single day. She could stop. As I see it, how can you take responsibility for dogs that are a thousand miles away? If there are people who want to take responsibility, such as Sal, let them. But if you and your husband may soon need help taking care of yourselves, how can you expect yourselves to take responsibility for your daughter's messes, even if they are helpless animals. As far as what other's say or think or do, most all of us here on the board have been judged (harshly) by family, neighbors, friends, or no-longer-friends. Nobody can understand what we go through. Nobody. Except people who have walked in our shoes. Please try to let, at least this agony go. The regard or opinions of these people do not count. They do not know. And they do not really know us. This is a kind of irresponsibility and cruelty to bring these issues to your door. At the very least they are carrying tales. Don't listen. I am not making light of the dogs' situation. But somebody will step in to take care of them or to see they are cared for. I just don't see how it can or should be you. [/QUOTE]
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