Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
When you don’t know what to do anymore, and you just want to give up.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 765558" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Everyone has had great advice here. I just want to send cyber-hugs and affirm that you are not alone. Your situation is familiar; of course you are exhausted and desperate. Anyone would be!</p><p></p><p>Your oldest son is dangerous, as others have said. You have the right as a person and an obligation as a parent with minor children not to allow him in your house. His behaviors and threats sound manipulative - to abuse you rather than to communicate his true intent. Any threat of harm to self or others should be taken seriously and the police notified. As others have said, his self-serving statements about having a right to live in your house are nonsense. He's a legal adult and has no such rights. It's just more verbal abuse intended to intimidate and unbalance you.</p><p></p><p>Please, please protect your daughters and yourself. Have you notified police or child services about what you learned of his sexual abuse of your daughters? Your daughters should get therapy and not feel that this has been ignored or swept under the rug. They need both protection and treatment. And you son must be held accountable and others protected from him. </p><p></p><p>Most importantly, please remove the burden of guilt you are carrying and realize that only your son can 'fix' his situation. He chooses not to at the moment and that's his decision; it's nothing to do with you. I learned with one of my difficult children that making suggestions, however reasonable, was not what he wanted to hear and he rejected everything I said. I simply stopped suggesting anything and, if he was looking for a response from me, said only, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll work something out." Or just, "I'm sorry to hear that," with nothing else. I didn't ask what he was planning to do about it because that invited further verbal abuse. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this, and on top of that grieving the passing of your mother. Please take time for yourself and work on your own wellbeing. That may include going no contact with your son for a time, and that's okay. Take care of yourself and your daughters. Many thoughts, prayers, and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 765558, member: 2884"] Everyone has had great advice here. I just want to send cyber-hugs and affirm that you are not alone. Your situation is familiar; of course you are exhausted and desperate. Anyone would be! Your oldest son is dangerous, as others have said. You have the right as a person and an obligation as a parent with minor children not to allow him in your house. His behaviors and threats sound manipulative - to abuse you rather than to communicate his true intent. Any threat of harm to self or others should be taken seriously and the police notified. As others have said, his self-serving statements about having a right to live in your house are nonsense. He's a legal adult and has no such rights. It's just more verbal abuse intended to intimidate and unbalance you. Please, please protect your daughters and yourself. Have you notified police or child services about what you learned of his sexual abuse of your daughters? Your daughters should get therapy and not feel that this has been ignored or swept under the rug. They need both protection and treatment. And you son must be held accountable and others protected from him. Most importantly, please remove the burden of guilt you are carrying and realize that only your son can 'fix' his situation. He chooses not to at the moment and that's his decision; it's nothing to do with you. I learned with one of my difficult children that making suggestions, however reasonable, was not what he wanted to hear and he rejected everything I said. I simply stopped suggesting anything and, if he was looking for a response from me, said only, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll work something out." Or just, "I'm sorry to hear that," with nothing else. I didn't ask what he was planning to do about it because that invited further verbal abuse. I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this, and on top of that grieving the passing of your mother. Please take time for yourself and work on your own wellbeing. That may include going no contact with your son for a time, and that's okay. Take care of yourself and your daughters. Many thoughts, prayers, and hugs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
When you don’t know what to do anymore, and you just want to give up.
Top
