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Family of Origin
When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666999" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, that was a guilt ridden e-mail.</p><p></p><p>How ridiculous. If you could have gotten along, Sis, you could have both taken care of her. But she made it impossible for you two to get along. She is so competitive.</p><p></p><p>It always blows my mind at what lengths grown kids, myself included, go through to make mom love us. And how it hurts when they don't.</p><p></p><p>My sister did damage control to reconcile with brother (GC) probably for our Mother. Without doing that, it would have made Mother unhappy and if Mama ain't happy she ain't gonna be happy with YOU. She also must have in some way kissed her buttocks to get in good with her, but again I don't know for sure what did it. Personality disordered people hate you one minute/love you the next/can turn on you either way. There was no way I'd kowtow to my mother's misguided wishes, especially against my own kids, so it wasn't going to happen with me.</p><p></p><p>My sister is more of a people pleaser, except for me, of course. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around her sending a minion here to take up for her, but that's her being passive aggressive. Also, I re-read the thread and it was about her boyfriend. Major trigger for her to go off on. I feel kind of sad that she got divorced to find true love and this is what she got and wants.</p><p></p><p>I have a whole e-mail conversation, the last one, between me and Sis where she attempts to bait me over and over again I don't take the bait. I will not post that here though. But, man, she tried everything.</p><p></p><p>The good part of what happened with my Sis is that it did not bother me much. I think it bothered you two more than me...lol. I'm used to it and have been over her for a long time. You guys were shocked, but I wasn't. She needs to control me and many times she HAS by calling the cops. But I'm not breaking the law and frankly nobody knows who she is or who I am. I'm not sure why she thinks they do. But because she can't stop me from healing here by calling the cops or telling my Dad, she got a minion in here to bash me who made it quite obvious that she is in touch with Sis. Or else it WAS Sis.</p><p></p><p>Whatever. If she stayed out of my life, as she says she wants to do, then I wouldn't think about her, but she won't stay out of my life. She never does stay out of my life.</p><p></p><p>Well, just got back from a fun time at the carnival. Now Jumper is outside getting out of her car and this is going-back-to-college time, but she says she'll be back in two weeks. We are planning to go down to Chicago and bring her boyfriend with us. That should be fun. Maybe I won't cry today when she leaves, but I think I will still cry...</p><p></p><p>I always cry when I have to leave one of my kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666999, member: 1550"] Copa, that was a guilt ridden e-mail. How ridiculous. If you could have gotten along, Sis, you could have both taken care of her. But she made it impossible for you two to get along. She is so competitive. It always blows my mind at what lengths grown kids, myself included, go through to make mom love us. And how it hurts when they don't. My sister did damage control to reconcile with brother (GC) probably for our Mother. Without doing that, it would have made Mother unhappy and if Mama ain't happy she ain't gonna be happy with YOU. She also must have in some way kissed her buttocks to get in good with her, but again I don't know for sure what did it. Personality disordered people hate you one minute/love you the next/can turn on you either way. There was no way I'd kowtow to my mother's misguided wishes, especially against my own kids, so it wasn't going to happen with me. My sister is more of a people pleaser, except for me, of course. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around her sending a minion here to take up for her, but that's her being passive aggressive. Also, I re-read the thread and it was about her boyfriend. Major trigger for her to go off on. I feel kind of sad that she got divorced to find true love and this is what she got and wants. I have a whole e-mail conversation, the last one, between me and Sis where she attempts to bait me over and over again I don't take the bait. I will not post that here though. But, man, she tried everything. The good part of what happened with my Sis is that it did not bother me much. I think it bothered you two more than me...lol. I'm used to it and have been over her for a long time. You guys were shocked, but I wasn't. She needs to control me and many times she HAS by calling the cops. But I'm not breaking the law and frankly nobody knows who she is or who I am. I'm not sure why she thinks they do. But because she can't stop me from healing here by calling the cops or telling my Dad, she got a minion in here to bash me who made it quite obvious that she is in touch with Sis. Or else it WAS Sis. Whatever. If she stayed out of my life, as she says she wants to do, then I wouldn't think about her, but she won't stay out of my life. She never does stay out of my life. Well, just got back from a fun time at the carnival. Now Jumper is outside getting out of her car and this is going-back-to-college time, but she says she'll be back in two weeks. We are planning to go down to Chicago and bring her boyfriend with us. That should be fun. Maybe I won't cry today when she leaves, but I think I will still cry... I always cry when I have to leave one of my kids. [/QUOTE]
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When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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