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Family of Origin
When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 667006" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>My sister (and my mom, too) tell lies. I don't know whether they believe them, but I suspect they know they are lying. That is probably why my sister tapes all her conversations: She has to keep her stories straight. Here is an example: My father's final illness (a stroke) occurred in the state where sister lives. She lied like a rug about things, one fact conflicting another and etc. D H was on the phone with her and confronted her about the conflicting information. She hung up on D H. In talking to my brother, who knew even less than we did, we mentioned the difficulty getting accurate information and noted sister had hung up on D H. When we next talked to brother? </p><p></p><p>Sister had made a point of telling brother how rude D H had been, how sweetly she tried to inform him, <em>and that D H had hung up on her.</em></p><p></p><p>Isn't that something.</p><p></p><p>So, your sister may or may not believe herself Copa? But if she is anything like my sister, she switches facts around with impunity.</p><p></p><p>So does my mom.</p><p></p><p>Together?</p><p></p><p>They have created a very nice reality which involves their perfection, D H rottenness, our impending poverty, the crumminess of where we live, I don't know what else. They even describe it to me. Like I am not the person whose reality it is.</p><p></p><p>Are you able to examine the role enslavement awakened by the emails, Copa?</p><p></p><p>It helps me very much to have D H confirm for me what he saw or heard, what the interaction felt like, whether I seemed vindictive or angry or whether I am fooling myself about my part in how everything fell apart.</p><p></p><p>D H will come away from these conversations more angry than me.</p><p></p><p>He says he was muzzled, and allowed my family to treat him in ways he would never have allowed, for my sake.</p><p></p><p>So, that helps me to know what was true.</p><p></p><p>If it were me Copa, I would assume the sister were lying and who cares why. She was justifying her rage at your involvement. Remember my sister's dancing around the kitchen in her joy that her parents were visiting.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 667006, member: 17461"] My sister (and my mom, too) tell lies. I don't know whether they believe them, but I suspect they know they are lying. That is probably why my sister tapes all her conversations: She has to keep her stories straight. Here is an example: My father's final illness (a stroke) occurred in the state where sister lives. She lied like a rug about things, one fact conflicting another and etc. D H was on the phone with her and confronted her about the conflicting information. She hung up on D H. In talking to my brother, who knew even less than we did, we mentioned the difficulty getting accurate information and noted sister had hung up on D H. When we next talked to brother? Sister had made a point of telling brother how rude D H had been, how sweetly she tried to inform him, [I]and that D H had hung up on her.[/I] Isn't that something. So, your sister may or may not believe herself Copa? But if she is anything like my sister, she switches facts around with impunity. So does my mom. Together? They have created a very nice reality which involves their perfection, D H rottenness, our impending poverty, the crumminess of where we live, I don't know what else. They even describe it to me. Like I am not the person whose reality it is. Are you able to examine the role enslavement awakened by the emails, Copa? It helps me very much to have D H confirm for me what he saw or heard, what the interaction felt like, whether I seemed vindictive or angry or whether I am fooling myself about my part in how everything fell apart. D H will come away from these conversations more angry than me. He says he was muzzled, and allowed my family to treat him in ways he would never have allowed, for my sake. So, that helps me to know what was true. If it were me Copa, I would assume the sister were lying and who cares why. She was justifying her rage at your involvement. Remember my sister's dancing around the kitchen in her joy that her parents were visiting. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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