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When your adult child steals from you...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 676043" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The most common reason for them to steal is drug use/addiction and pawning our stuff. It is your decision, but you have several choices, none that will stop the stealing:</p><p></p><p>1/tell the grown child that stealing is not acceptable in your home and that he/she has to leave and find other accomodations.</p><p></p><p>2/Call the police and let the adult face the consequences or go to jail.</p><p></p><p>3/Hope it doesn't happen again. Give another chance. I think this is highly unlikely to work, but many people give many chances.</p><p></p><p>When adults are 18, we have no legal rights anymore. It is often problematic for them to stay at home with t heir behaviors, especially if we are also supporting the adult child. Many choose to finally tell t heir difficult adult child to leave. That can motivate them to launch or quit the addiction, but often it just gives us peace. And we deserve peace and quiet and no more drama. We are not "mommys" anymore once they are adults. We are mothers who should in my opinion expect a respectful, law abiding, adult relationship with our children, including that they obey the law, w ork, and help us with the bills and chores in our home. Our home should be in my opinion our sanctuary.</p><p></p><p>We have no rights to send our adult children for help. There are no words to make them do it. They have to want to do it. They alone have to want to change. Our yelling, begging, pleading, bribing...it won't change anything, although they will gladly lie to get a bribe. We can only change our ourselves, just like they can only chane one person...themselves.</p><p></p><p>If you want daughter to live at home, even though s he is 22 and probably able bodied and not working, I suggest you lock up ALL your valuables, credit cards, bank account numbers and be on high alert.</p><p></p><p>I know this is easy to say; not so easy to do, b ut you can't help her by putting up with this. Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 676043, member: 1550"] The most common reason for them to steal is drug use/addiction and pawning our stuff. It is your decision, but you have several choices, none that will stop the stealing: 1/tell the grown child that stealing is not acceptable in your home and that he/she has to leave and find other accomodations. 2/Call the police and let the adult face the consequences or go to jail. 3/Hope it doesn't happen again. Give another chance. I think this is highly unlikely to work, but many people give many chances. When adults are 18, we have no legal rights anymore. It is often problematic for them to stay at home with t heir behaviors, especially if we are also supporting the adult child. Many choose to finally tell t heir difficult adult child to leave. That can motivate them to launch or quit the addiction, but often it just gives us peace. And we deserve peace and quiet and no more drama. We are not "mommys" anymore once they are adults. We are mothers who should in my opinion expect a respectful, law abiding, adult relationship with our children, including that they obey the law, w ork, and help us with the bills and chores in our home. Our home should be in my opinion our sanctuary. We have no rights to send our adult children for help. There are no words to make them do it. They have to want to do it. They alone have to want to change. Our yelling, begging, pleading, bribing...it won't change anything, although they will gladly lie to get a bribe. We can only change our ourselves, just like they can only chane one person...themselves. If you want daughter to live at home, even though s he is 22 and probably able bodied and not working, I suggest you lock up ALL your valuables, credit cards, bank account numbers and be on high alert. I know this is easy to say; not so easy to do, b ut you can't help her by putting up with this. Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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