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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 329585" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I agree with GoingNorth! OMG - let the child set the rules? Sounds exactly what happened when I took Diva to a therapist at about that age. Our therapist at that time was assigned to us through the "employee help program". He had NO experience with kids AT ALL. He told me that after the few visits our employer group allowed, if we needed further help, he would refer us to a therapist with experience with kids. (I wrote a letter to our HR complaining that when an employee's child needs help that the child needs to be referred to a therapist who actually works with kids on an everyday workcase.)</p><p> </p><p>Basically, what Diva's first therapist told us was to let her set up the household schedule for bed time routines. Our daycare provider told us that was so wrong! It was important for Diva to respect what Mom and Dad set up and for Mom and Dad to learn what was best for Diva.</p><p> </p><p>I think that some tdocs who do not normally deal with kids are dealing with adults that live on their own and they are trying to give these adults control over their own life, "Set your schedule and stick to it." With kids, you have to have some stricter boundaries and the rules of the house set up by the parents need to be enforced. Therapist can encourage Mom and Dad to include child's input, but the child does not set up these time schedules.</p><p></p><p>Also what GoingNorth said about "sleep hygiene" is right on. For a person to get control of how/when/where they sleep is so important to their overall health. Do you ever experience lazy days of laying on the couch watching t.v. and notice how hard it can be to get remotivated after you allowed yourself to relax so deeply? In a way, that is what is going on with people with poor sleep hygiene, they are letting their shutting down moods rule their life. They are telling themselves that they will wait until they "feel" like getting up to get up. That feeling doesn't come around that often or easily. We need to teach our bodies to get the proper sleep at the proper time in the proper way to stay healthy.</p><p> </p><p>If something doesn't feel right to you, feel free to follow your instincts and get a second opinion. I would be interested to know if this psychiatrist actually has real life experience dealing with kids. I would think advice such as she gave you is so unhealthy. It sounds like she has given up on your difficult child. Do you have a therapist that can work more often with your difficult child to help with the sleep hygiene issue? My current difficult child's psychiatrist would refer "behavioral" issues back to therapist to help work out - no way would he ever say, "Oh, just let it be" - he knows that medication and therapy both are needed to overcome these issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 329585, member: 5096"] I agree with GoingNorth! OMG - let the child set the rules? Sounds exactly what happened when I took Diva to a therapist at about that age. Our therapist at that time was assigned to us through the "employee help program". He had NO experience with kids AT ALL. He told me that after the few visits our employer group allowed, if we needed further help, he would refer us to a therapist with experience with kids. (I wrote a letter to our HR complaining that when an employee's child needs help that the child needs to be referred to a therapist who actually works with kids on an everyday workcase.) Basically, what Diva's first therapist told us was to let her set up the household schedule for bed time routines. Our daycare provider told us that was so wrong! It was important for Diva to respect what Mom and Dad set up and for Mom and Dad to learn what was best for Diva. I think that some tdocs who do not normally deal with kids are dealing with adults that live on their own and they are trying to give these adults control over their own life, "Set your schedule and stick to it." With kids, you have to have some stricter boundaries and the rules of the house set up by the parents need to be enforced. Therapist can encourage Mom and Dad to include child's input, but the child does not set up these time schedules. Also what GoingNorth said about "sleep hygiene" is right on. For a person to get control of how/when/where they sleep is so important to their overall health. Do you ever experience lazy days of laying on the couch watching t.v. and notice how hard it can be to get remotivated after you allowed yourself to relax so deeply? In a way, that is what is going on with people with poor sleep hygiene, they are letting their shutting down moods rule their life. They are telling themselves that they will wait until they "feel" like getting up to get up. That feeling doesn't come around that often or easily. We need to teach our bodies to get the proper sleep at the proper time in the proper way to stay healthy. If something doesn't feel right to you, feel free to follow your instincts and get a second opinion. I would be interested to know if this psychiatrist actually has real life experience dealing with kids. I would think advice such as she gave you is so unhealthy. It sounds like she has given up on your difficult child. Do you have a therapist that can work more often with your difficult child to help with the sleep hygiene issue? My current difficult child's psychiatrist would refer "behavioral" issues back to therapist to help work out - no way would he ever say, "Oh, just let it be" - he knows that medication and therapy both are needed to overcome these issues. [/QUOTE]
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