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Substance Abuse
Why did I take so long....
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<blockquote data-quote="stressedmama" data-source="post: 636262" data-attributes="member: 18412"><p>Congratulations for taking this step. My 32 yr old SD and grandson have lived with us for the last 3 years. She always exhibited signs of depression/disrespect/disconnection, etc. Over the last few months, I've noticed things - money missing from my kids, behavioral changes, withdrawn, always tired, no explanation where her paychecks were going. I suspected drugs but had no proof and without it my husband was not prepared to accept she was doing drugs.</p><p> </p><p>After a few incidents over the past several months (hindsight is 20/20), all hell broke loose a couple weeks ago. She came home completely wrecked from a belated birthday party her in-laws threw for our grandson. We sent her to bed, knowing there was no talking to her in that state of mind, and we took care of our GS the rest of the evening and put him to bed. Before bed, we walked out to the front porch and found one of his b-day presents was on the front step. My husband decided to take a walk around SD's car to see if she dropped anything else. He found a small wallet and cash on the ground. He also found bundles of heroin. THAT was the proof needed.</p><p> </p><p>Against my advice, he felt the need to go wake her up and have our own little intervention. Suffice it to say, that went sideways and in the end I ended up calling the police as she attacked me and threatened to kill me. The police would only be able to arrest her for offensive touching which would not have kept her in jail overnight so I told my husband to find a place for her to go immediately because if she didn't go, I was leaving. He took her to a friend's house that night.</p><p> </p><p>It's been a tough couple of weeks. She did volunteer to go to rehab and detoxed at one place for 10 days, then she was transferred to what we thought would be a 28-day stint at another longer-term facility. They discharged her a week later and after many phone calls and research, she finally has gone to a halfway house for a minimum of 90 days and max of 1 year.</p><p> </p><p>My husband has been in contact with her couselors and with SD throughout the past couple weeks. I have had no contact with her whatsoever but this weekend we are supposed to drop some things off to her that she needs and I am a nervous wreck. I'm not ready to see her. She's claiming no recollection of the attack but I don't believe it. She has shared all kinds of stories with her mom and dad about all the terrible things she's done over the past 5 years of this adiction but for some reason she doesn't remember the most violent night of them all? I'm a little cynical-I don't buy it. I am going with my husband because he is the love of my life and I want to support him.</p><p> </p><p>I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with her. Right now I am so angry about what she's done to our family - and continues to do to our family. She's sober but hasn't quite gotten past the manipulation attempts - including not letting us know where she was or where she was going after the 2nd facility discharged her. As if she was trying to punish my husband for refusing to let her come home. And of course, I'm sure she sees me as the devil incarnate because I have forced this on my husband. I haven't, by the way. He told her she may believe it's a safe environment for her, but then it wouldn't be for us.</p><p> </p><p>My husband and I petitioned for and were awarded Guardianship of our GS so we are now taking care of him full time, working full time and all this additional stress on top of it is exhausting. But we will get through this. And so will you. What choice do we have?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stressedmama, post: 636262, member: 18412"] Congratulations for taking this step. My 32 yr old SD and grandson have lived with us for the last 3 years. She always exhibited signs of depression/disrespect/disconnection, etc. Over the last few months, I've noticed things - money missing from my kids, behavioral changes, withdrawn, always tired, no explanation where her paychecks were going. I suspected drugs but had no proof and without it my husband was not prepared to accept she was doing drugs. After a few incidents over the past several months (hindsight is 20/20), all hell broke loose a couple weeks ago. She came home completely wrecked from a belated birthday party her in-laws threw for our grandson. We sent her to bed, knowing there was no talking to her in that state of mind, and we took care of our GS the rest of the evening and put him to bed. Before bed, we walked out to the front porch and found one of his b-day presents was on the front step. My husband decided to take a walk around SD's car to see if she dropped anything else. He found a small wallet and cash on the ground. He also found bundles of heroin. THAT was the proof needed. Against my advice, he felt the need to go wake her up and have our own little intervention. Suffice it to say, that went sideways and in the end I ended up calling the police as she attacked me and threatened to kill me. The police would only be able to arrest her for offensive touching which would not have kept her in jail overnight so I told my husband to find a place for her to go immediately because if she didn't go, I was leaving. He took her to a friend's house that night. It's been a tough couple of weeks. She did volunteer to go to rehab and detoxed at one place for 10 days, then she was transferred to what we thought would be a 28-day stint at another longer-term facility. They discharged her a week later and after many phone calls and research, she finally has gone to a halfway house for a minimum of 90 days and max of 1 year. My husband has been in contact with her couselors and with SD throughout the past couple weeks. I have had no contact with her whatsoever but this weekend we are supposed to drop some things off to her that she needs and I am a nervous wreck. I'm not ready to see her. She's claiming no recollection of the attack but I don't believe it. She has shared all kinds of stories with her mom and dad about all the terrible things she's done over the past 5 years of this adiction but for some reason she doesn't remember the most violent night of them all? I'm a little cynical-I don't buy it. I am going with my husband because he is the love of my life and I want to support him. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with her. Right now I am so angry about what she's done to our family - and continues to do to our family. She's sober but hasn't quite gotten past the manipulation attempts - including not letting us know where she was or where she was going after the 2nd facility discharged her. As if she was trying to punish my husband for refusing to let her come home. And of course, I'm sure she sees me as the devil incarnate because I have forced this on my husband. I haven't, by the way. He told her she may believe it's a safe environment for her, but then it wouldn't be for us. My husband and I petitioned for and were awarded Guardianship of our GS so we are now taking care of him full time, working full time and all this additional stress on top of it is exhausting. But we will get through this. And so will you. What choice do we have? [/QUOTE]
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