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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 130189" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>if for whatever reason she is not taking her medications, the responsible adult thing for her to do is to 'fess up and discuss it. She should know that if she has a problem, she should be able to say so. If she fails to say so, and the apparent lack of response to medications is answered by therapist increasing the dose (which of course STILL won't work, if she isn't taking them!) then you're right, money is being wasted and therapist's time (and everyone else's, including S's).</p><p></p><p>We use a pill container with pills for each day of the week. Depending on how compliant the kids are, we either make up the containers ourselves or get the kids to do their own, with varying levels of supervision. If the kids do it themselves they are supposed to let me know when supplies are getting low. The older kids are supposed to buy their own (where practical).</p><p></p><p>I will check the containers to ensure medications have been taken. The main compliance problems are forgetfulness. We've been through the sneakier "I want to stop taking it to see what happens and I won't tell anyone because then it will be a blinded test" routine.</p><p></p><p>I encouraged the kids to tell me if they felt worse or more confused (or whatever) with any medications or a change in dosage. I would then ring the doctor to talk about it and try to negotiate a change. But you can't do that if they don't TELL you.</p><p></p><p>If the kids stop taking medications and don't tell you, I equate that as fraudulent and a sign that I will have to take charge of medications and ensure dosage, as if we live in a methadone clinic. "Here is your midday pill - put it in your mouth, swallow - now open your mouth and let me check it has gone." Any move from this back to self-reliance has to be earned. Pill supplies would be locked away in a safe, the key permanently around my neck (even in the shower). It would remove temptation to sell the pills, too. And it also would remove any possibility of your kid being pressured by others to sell her pills - "No way, I can't bring any of my pills to the party, my mother has them locked in a safe. Yeah, A SAFE! And did you know, she even checks my mouth to make sure I've taken them? Honestly, she is obsessive!"</p><p></p><p>The main worry you then have, is if she tries to bite you while you check her mouth. In which case, you up the ante - get one of those dental gags to hold her jaws open (or use the handle of a wooden spoon inside her jaw as well, so her teeth can't close on your fingers). And if she won't cooperate - tell the therapist, call the cops, threaten hospitalisation, handcuffs, whatever it takes. And if you threaten, follow through.</p><p></p><p>I've never had to do this, but my kids know that I would, in a heartbeat.</p><p></p><p>The sane alternative to this is for her to be honest in her communication with you about her medications. If she says, "I don't want to take Tablet Y!" then don't just shove it down her throat, sit with her and talk about it. ANY beginning to open and honest communication is to be welcomed.</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 did this with us, and her ADHD medications. "I don't like taking them, they make me feel 'flat'. I feel much happier, more upbeat, when I skip my medications."</p><p>I made an appointment with the doctor, we talked it through. He noted that I wanted her to stay on the same dose (I felt she needed it) but allowed her to ease back and see how she went. To my surprise, she functioned almost as well (well enough) and also felt a lot better. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 has to take Zoloft. The doctor wanted him to cut back, so he tried it, but found that at really low doses he became obsessive to dysfunctional degrees. So he knew to come to me and ask me to arrange for an appointment to discuss it. The doctor heard him out and immediately increased his dose again.</p><p></p><p>When it comes to screaming matches, easy child 2/difficult child 2 can compete with the best of them. I've learnt to ignore it while she's raging (I'll leave the house if necessary) and talk about it when she's calmer. And when talking about it sets her off, I walk away again. I keep doing this until I say what I need to say, even if it takes a week.</p><p>She also knows I'll report this to the doctor. She is supposed to be intelligent, mature, compassionate, capable. And wants to get married ASAP. Kid, you gotta shape up BIG time!</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this one, it really can be nasty. I really hope she's just been hoarding because she's a hoarder and wants to be in control, and not because she was planning to sell them or take them to parties. If you suspect the latter, I would be threatening no college unless she shows maturity and responsibility, and I would also be grounding her as far as possible, as regards parties (or party opportunities).</p><p>Although - if she REALLY is reluctant to take her medications because she doesn't like how they make her feel, or doesn't like the lack of control, it makes it far less likely she is abusing drugs in any form.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 130189, member: 1991"] if for whatever reason she is not taking her medications, the responsible adult thing for her to do is to 'fess up and discuss it. She should know that if she has a problem, she should be able to say so. If she fails to say so, and the apparent lack of response to medications is answered by therapist increasing the dose (which of course STILL won't work, if she isn't taking them!) then you're right, money is being wasted and therapist's time (and everyone else's, including S's). We use a pill container with pills for each day of the week. Depending on how compliant the kids are, we either make up the containers ourselves or get the kids to do their own, with varying levels of supervision. If the kids do it themselves they are supposed to let me know when supplies are getting low. The older kids are supposed to buy their own (where practical). I will check the containers to ensure medications have been taken. The main compliance problems are forgetfulness. We've been through the sneakier "I want to stop taking it to see what happens and I won't tell anyone because then it will be a blinded test" routine. I encouraged the kids to tell me if they felt worse or more confused (or whatever) with any medications or a change in dosage. I would then ring the doctor to talk about it and try to negotiate a change. But you can't do that if they don't TELL you. If the kids stop taking medications and don't tell you, I equate that as fraudulent and a sign that I will have to take charge of medications and ensure dosage, as if we live in a methadone clinic. "Here is your midday pill - put it in your mouth, swallow - now open your mouth and let me check it has gone." Any move from this back to self-reliance has to be earned. Pill supplies would be locked away in a safe, the key permanently around my neck (even in the shower). It would remove temptation to sell the pills, too. And it also would remove any possibility of your kid being pressured by others to sell her pills - "No way, I can't bring any of my pills to the party, my mother has them locked in a safe. Yeah, A SAFE! And did you know, she even checks my mouth to make sure I've taken them? Honestly, she is obsessive!" The main worry you then have, is if she tries to bite you while you check her mouth. In which case, you up the ante - get one of those dental gags to hold her jaws open (or use the handle of a wooden spoon inside her jaw as well, so her teeth can't close on your fingers). And if she won't cooperate - tell the therapist, call the cops, threaten hospitalisation, handcuffs, whatever it takes. And if you threaten, follow through. I've never had to do this, but my kids know that I would, in a heartbeat. The sane alternative to this is for her to be honest in her communication with you about her medications. If she says, "I don't want to take Tablet Y!" then don't just shove it down her throat, sit with her and talk about it. ANY beginning to open and honest communication is to be welcomed. easy child 2/difficult child 2 did this with us, and her ADHD medications. "I don't like taking them, they make me feel 'flat'. I feel much happier, more upbeat, when I skip my medications." I made an appointment with the doctor, we talked it through. He noted that I wanted her to stay on the same dose (I felt she needed it) but allowed her to ease back and see how she went. To my surprise, she functioned almost as well (well enough) and also felt a lot better. difficult child 1 has to take Zoloft. The doctor wanted him to cut back, so he tried it, but found that at really low doses he became obsessive to dysfunctional degrees. So he knew to come to me and ask me to arrange for an appointment to discuss it. The doctor heard him out and immediately increased his dose again. When it comes to screaming matches, easy child 2/difficult child 2 can compete with the best of them. I've learnt to ignore it while she's raging (I'll leave the house if necessary) and talk about it when she's calmer. And when talking about it sets her off, I walk away again. I keep doing this until I say what I need to say, even if it takes a week. She also knows I'll report this to the doctor. She is supposed to be intelligent, mature, compassionate, capable. And wants to get married ASAP. Kid, you gotta shape up BIG time! Good luck with this one, it really can be nasty. I really hope she's just been hoarding because she's a hoarder and wants to be in control, and not because she was planning to sell them or take them to parties. If you suspect the latter, I would be threatening no college unless she shows maturity and responsibility, and I would also be grounding her as far as possible, as regards parties (or party opportunities). Although - if she REALLY is reluctant to take her medications because she doesn't like how they make her feel, or doesn't like the lack of control, it makes it far less likely she is abusing drugs in any form. Marg [/QUOTE]
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