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Why does my adult daughter dislike me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Jammie" data-source="post: 713652" data-attributes="member: 21958"><p>My son, who was adopted at birth, was a perfectly sweet child until about the age of ten when he turned in to someone I no longer knew. He lied, stole from me and family, sneaked out, refused to do homework, hung out with the worst kids he could find and generally made my life miserable. I took him for therapy and spent a fortune on special teachers, etc. Nothing I tried helped one bit. We went from one war to another all thru his teens. He got picked up for shoplifting when he was 16 and we had to get him out of jail. I had to drag him thru high school and he barely graduated. His grades were too poor for college so we tried to get him interested in a technical school. He dropped out and then went from one minimum wage job to another. He kept getting fired because of his belligerent attitude and problems with authority. Finally at age 20, he calls me and says "Guess what, Mom? You're going to be a grandmother!". He had no job and his pregnant girlfriend was 17 and still in high school. So then I was mostly supporting them after that. A second baby came along and then a third. He was working by then and finally married the girl with my encouragement. I babysat three children under four every weekend so we could cut down on child care costs plus I was still providing half their living expenses. Over the years, my son gradually became colder and colder. He never called to check on me and I never heard from him on Mother's Day. He was drinking heavily over the years but was doing well in his job and taking care of his family. He struggled with severe depression since his teens but refused to get help for it. I would call him every couple of weeks to see how everyone was and would visit every few weeks, always calling first. The last time I visited, he seemed very down and was not doing well financially. I had a little extra so I gave him a check for $5000 and he seemed to appreciate it. He was not feeling well and had spit up some bright blood and I encouraged him to see a doctor. I text him a few days later to see how he was doing and he pretty much told me to buzz off like I was annoying him. His cold rudeness like I was a nosy stranger instead of his mother just finally finished it for me. I helped him get on his feet as best I could, saw him thru his wife's infidelities, helped raise his children, took them on vacation and literally spent half of what I made on him and his family for the last twenty years and he treats me like a stranger. I told him he knew how to find me, that I loved him but any future contact would have to be initiated by him, and that I was done. Haven't heard from him since. He is 44 and I am nearly 70. I feel your pain and I know exactly what you have been through. I am so sorry.</p><p>Jammie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jammie, post: 713652, member: 21958"] My son, who was adopted at birth, was a perfectly sweet child until about the age of ten when he turned in to someone I no longer knew. He lied, stole from me and family, sneaked out, refused to do homework, hung out with the worst kids he could find and generally made my life miserable. I took him for therapy and spent a fortune on special teachers, etc. Nothing I tried helped one bit. We went from one war to another all thru his teens. He got picked up for shoplifting when he was 16 and we had to get him out of jail. I had to drag him thru high school and he barely graduated. His grades were too poor for college so we tried to get him interested in a technical school. He dropped out and then went from one minimum wage job to another. He kept getting fired because of his belligerent attitude and problems with authority. Finally at age 20, he calls me and says "Guess what, Mom? You're going to be a grandmother!". He had no job and his pregnant girlfriend was 17 and still in high school. So then I was mostly supporting them after that. A second baby came along and then a third. He was working by then and finally married the girl with my encouragement. I babysat three children under four every weekend so we could cut down on child care costs plus I was still providing half their living expenses. Over the years, my son gradually became colder and colder. He never called to check on me and I never heard from him on Mother's Day. He was drinking heavily over the years but was doing well in his job and taking care of his family. He struggled with severe depression since his teens but refused to get help for it. I would call him every couple of weeks to see how everyone was and would visit every few weeks, always calling first. The last time I visited, he seemed very down and was not doing well financially. I had a little extra so I gave him a check for $5000 and he seemed to appreciate it. He was not feeling well and had spit up some bright blood and I encouraged him to see a doctor. I text him a few days later to see how he was doing and he pretty much told me to buzz off like I was annoying him. His cold rudeness like I was a nosy stranger instead of his mother just finally finished it for me. I helped him get on his feet as best I could, saw him thru his wife's infidelities, helped raise his children, took them on vacation and literally spent half of what I made on him and his family for the last twenty years and he treats me like a stranger. I told him he knew how to find me, that I loved him but any future contact would have to be initiated by him, and that I was done. Haven't heard from him since. He is 44 and I am nearly 70. I feel your pain and I know exactly what you have been through. I am so sorry. Jammie [/QUOTE]
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