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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752403" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I think that maybe we are sensitive because we are used to being abused by them, so everything our more difficult children say about us stings. And, of course, these adult kids who are more selfish than the average person, don't grant anyone much credit. They seem to want to be victims, even if it means having selective memories.</p><p></p><p>Because I have contrast in my children, I notice that only Kay always looks for what her father and I have done wrong. The other kids are not this way. It's more about the troubled child's thought process than us. They choose not to remember how kind we are to them. I have no idea why this is so, but it hurts.</p><p></p><p>I think I would just go with Al Anon. We can't control them or how they are or what they say or do. This is true even if they never used drugs. They are who they are. Kay is who she is. We don't need to like it, but not accepting it just hurts us more. If we don't accept, we expect what they can't or won't give.</p><p></p><p>You know you are a good, loving parent. This is also the truth. Accept this truth and be proud of it. You can't force your kids to openly acknowledge it, even if they secretly know, but you can be certain of the knowledge of who YOU are. Don't let even your kids make you doubt who and what kind of person you are. </p><p></p><p>God bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752403, member: 23706"] I think that maybe we are sensitive because we are used to being abused by them, so everything our more difficult children say about us stings. And, of course, these adult kids who are more selfish than the average person, don't grant anyone much credit. They seem to want to be victims, even if it means having selective memories. Because I have contrast in my children, I notice that only Kay always looks for what her father and I have done wrong. The other kids are not this way. It's more about the troubled child's thought process than us. They choose not to remember how kind we are to them. I have no idea why this is so, but it hurts. I think I would just go with Al Anon. We can't control them or how they are or what they say or do. This is true even if they never used drugs. They are who they are. Kay is who she is. We don't need to like it, but not accepting it just hurts us more. If we don't accept, we expect what they can't or won't give. You know you are a good, loving parent. This is also the truth. Accept this truth and be proud of it. You can't force your kids to openly acknowledge it, even if they secretly know, but you can be certain of the knowledge of who YOU are. Don't let even your kids make you doubt who and what kind of person you are. God bless. [/QUOTE]
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