Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
wife struggling with detachment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 174798"><p>I think with your daughter's diagnosis's it is fine for your spouse to want to keep an eye out on her and even to keep in contact with her roommate on a <strong>limited basis.</strong> However, your daughter is of an age where she needs to be held accountable for her actions and she certainly doesn't need a mother overly involved. </p><p> </p><p>In addition, mom herself should have such a complete and healthy life that the desire to want to overly intervene should be limited. I would encourage your wife to explore her own intererests. Hobbies, work opportunities, interests, etc. She might want to limit visiting her daughter to once a week and see what she might add to her own personal life experience to fill in the void. I would also limit the amount of time she spends talking with the roommmate...or make a deal with the rommmate that she only calls when difficult child is doing something of a serious nature that might require intervention. It doesn't seem appropriate that there would be long drawn out conversations. </p><p> </p><p>I think it is healthy that you and your spouse help out with any medical needs, i.e. doctor and prescription medications for the time being, but of course, other things difficult child should be looking to be fully responsible for. Any monies given for the doctor or medication, should be made out directly for these purposes. If you want to give your daughter money for some reason, it might be best to do it in the form of a gift certificate for the time being if she is still using.</p><p> </p><p>Your wife (and you) can not keep up the energy and emotional strain it takes to be so fully involved in the life of an adult difficult child. I too like the idea of you and your wife attending meetings like Al Anon or Families Anonymous. More than likely your wife would not want to attend, but if you find the meeting and go with her, it could be more motivating.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 174798"] I think with your daughter's diagnosis's it is fine for your spouse to want to keep an eye out on her and even to keep in contact with her roommate on a [B]limited basis.[/B] However, your daughter is of an age where she needs to be held accountable for her actions and she certainly doesn't need a mother overly involved. In addition, mom herself should have such a complete and healthy life that the desire to want to overly intervene should be limited. I would encourage your wife to explore her own intererests. Hobbies, work opportunities, interests, etc. She might want to limit visiting her daughter to once a week and see what she might add to her own personal life experience to fill in the void. I would also limit the amount of time she spends talking with the roommmate...or make a deal with the rommmate that she only calls when difficult child is doing something of a serious nature that might require intervention. It doesn't seem appropriate that there would be long drawn out conversations. I think it is healthy that you and your spouse help out with any medical needs, i.e. doctor and prescription medications for the time being, but of course, other things difficult child should be looking to be fully responsible for. Any monies given for the doctor or medication, should be made out directly for these purposes. If you want to give your daughter money for some reason, it might be best to do it in the form of a gift certificate for the time being if she is still using. Your wife (and you) can not keep up the energy and emotional strain it takes to be so fully involved in the life of an adult difficult child. I too like the idea of you and your wife attending meetings like Al Anon or Families Anonymous. More than likely your wife would not want to attend, but if you find the meeting and go with her, it could be more motivating. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
wife struggling with detachment
Top