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wife struggling with detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 175132" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>I must say, that wife is definitely gaining ground in the detachment department. Right now, anger is acting as a powerful detachment booster:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">difficult child called yesterday. She was in her "remorseful and compliant" persona, as per the usual script, and was intending to recount the events of Monday with heavy emphasis on her own helplessness and inability to control her behavior (this is a recurrent theme: "look at how pathetic I am, I can't even stop myself from doing these horrible things"). She started, "I can't believe what I did last night..." wife cut her off with "I can. You got drunk. I don't want to hear about it," and hung up.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">wife got one of easy child 1's friend's mothers to keep easy child 1 while wife was at the doctor's office, thus easily coping with a situation that previously she might have "needed" difficult child for.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Later on difficult child called to ask wife to ask me to go get her stuff from Erica's and haul it back to our house and store it in the garage for her until she could get it. wife told her no way.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Finally, wife has <strong>not</strong> been calling around, trying to find out who difficult child is with, or where. The phone has been blissfully quiet since yesterday afternoon.</li> </ul><p>It occurs to me, that at this moment I am actually more engaged in the situation than wife, seeing as how I am here posting about it -- fortunately, posting at CD doesn't count against you, it's a good thing, helps one stay detached. </p><p></p><p>We'll need to watch carefully for slipping back into old patterns when the events of this week fade from immediate memory. For now, though, we are on the right track.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 175132, member: 3485"] I must say, that wife is definitely gaining ground in the detachment department. Right now, anger is acting as a powerful detachment booster: [LIST] [*]difficult child called yesterday. She was in her "remorseful and compliant" persona, as per the usual script, and was intending to recount the events of Monday with heavy emphasis on her own helplessness and inability to control her behavior (this is a recurrent theme: "look at how pathetic I am, I can't even stop myself from doing these horrible things"). She started, "I can't believe what I did last night..." wife cut her off with "I can. You got drunk. I don't want to hear about it," and hung up. [*]wife got one of easy child 1's friend's mothers to keep easy child 1 while wife was at the doctor's office, thus easily coping with a situation that previously she might have "needed" difficult child for. [*]Later on difficult child called to ask wife to ask me to go get her stuff from Erica's and haul it back to our house and store it in the garage for her until she could get it. wife told her no way. [*]Finally, wife has [B]not[/B] been calling around, trying to find out who difficult child is with, or where. The phone has been blissfully quiet since yesterday afternoon.[/LIST]It occurs to me, that at this moment I am actually more engaged in the situation than wife, seeing as how I am here posting about it -- fortunately, posting at CD doesn't count against you, it's a good thing, helps one stay detached. We'll need to watch carefully for slipping back into old patterns when the events of this week fade from immediate memory. For now, though, we are on the right track. [/QUOTE]
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