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Parent Emeritus
Will I ever be happy again?
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 755704" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I used to think I was a bad parent for not being totally miserable because of how badly my difficult children's lives are.</p><p></p><p>I've had to do a lot of reprogramming, lots of therapy, support groups, writing, reading, etc. to get to a place of not feeling guilty, preoccupied, and sad all the time.</p><p></p><p>1. I realized that I was letting my difficult children determine my feelings. It's like they were choosing the weather for me each day. I decided that I get to choose the emotional weather I want to be in.</p><p></p><p>2. I am not my difficult children's higher power. They have their own paths.</p><p></p><p>3. My worrying and misery have not fixed my difficult children, and it takes away from the joy I should be having with my other children and from the joy I want in my life in general. </p><p></p><p>4. A month is a long time. I will not let my difficult children live with me. Even a day can be too toxic. You can change your mind about how long he can stay, and you would not be a bad person for loving yourself enough to protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>5. You're not making it a big deal. Being treated badly is a big deal.</p><p></p><p>6. I can't change anybody but me. I choose to work on myself.</p><p></p><p>7. I'll never stop loving my difficult children.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are hurting. I do understand this feeling because there's a lot of sorrow when our difficult children are so off the rails.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 755704, member: 19832"] I used to think I was a bad parent for not being totally miserable because of how badly my difficult children's lives are. I've had to do a lot of reprogramming, lots of therapy, support groups, writing, reading, etc. to get to a place of not feeling guilty, preoccupied, and sad all the time. 1. I realized that I was letting my difficult children determine my feelings. It's like they were choosing the weather for me each day. I decided that I get to choose the emotional weather I want to be in. 2. I am not my difficult children's higher power. They have their own paths. 3. My worrying and misery have not fixed my difficult children, and it takes away from the joy I should be having with my other children and from the joy I want in my life in general. 4. A month is a long time. I will not let my difficult children live with me. Even a day can be too toxic. You can change your mind about how long he can stay, and you would not be a bad person for loving yourself enough to protect yourself. 5. You're not making it a big deal. Being treated badly is a big deal. 6. I can't change anybody but me. I choose to work on myself. 7. I'll never stop loving my difficult children. I am sorry you are hurting. I do understand this feeling because there's a lot of sorrow when our difficult children are so off the rails. [/QUOTE]
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Will I ever be happy again?
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