Years ago and old neighbor ended her engagement the day before the wedding - a HUGE Catholic wedding that had been over 1 yr in the planning. The entire church was shocked, most happily. The guy was a skank and would sleep with anything that wore clothes. Anything. She caught wind of the bachelor party plans and she had warned him that it was over if he had certain things there. so she did.
Now? she is happily married for over 20 yrs, has great kids, and NOTHING to do with the old fiance. Old fiance has been in and out of jail and is currently dying from something he caught either by sharing needles or sleeping with the wrong people. her family is eternally grateful that she didn't marry him.
I hope that your daughter gets married to the right person and has a long, happy life. I also think this is NOT the right guy, so I hope she waits.
Years ago I listened to 1 episode of the Dr. Laura show. She was talking about life rules and one was to never have a relationship with someone your parents hate, esp don't marry someone they don't like/hate. Why? Who knows you best, wants only the best for you, has cared for you for decades and worked to make sure you had whatever was best for you? So if your folks only want the best for you, and know you so well, then why would you marry someone they cannot stand? Wouldn't that be a giant red flag?
Not sure that would help, but maybe hearing stories about women who called the wedding off and went on to be very happy with someone else who their family loved would be helpful?
You also might call a DV center and ask what they recommend and if they have lists of warning signs to see before the wedding?
