Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Wondering what I did! feeling suicidal again!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 723164" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome DS. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation with your son. I can understand your concerns about suicide. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've learned that that question you pose has no answer and serves to keep us stuck in guilt trying to find the reasons this has happened to us. Many times there are no answers, as trite as it sounds, it is what is is. What we have to do is learn to accept what we can't change, control or fix. I know, not an easy thing to do. However, for me, it is the way to find peace. </p><p></p><p>I believe the way for us parents to find some kind of solace in these devastating experiences we've been given is to first, take care of US. To learn to put ourselves as the priority by nurturing ourselves and taking care of our own needs. Often as we put all our energy into saving our adult troubled kids, we become depleted and used to not taking care of ourselves, everything goes to our kids. It is a recipe for depression, anxiety and fear. </p><p></p><p>I found some solace in reading books by Pema Chodron, who is a Buddhist nun who specializes in teachings about living in uncertainty and chaos. I also found solace in books by Eckhart Tolle who teaches about living in the now and acceptance of what we cannot control. I have a great deal of mental illness throughout my entire family, I understand how desperate we can become in trying to help those who either cannot or will not help themselves. So, I had to learn how to accept what I can't change........or I would have gone crazy along with them. </p><p></p><p>Meditation helped me as well. If you are unfamiliar with meditation, you can find help on YOUTUBE. There are 2 men from the UK who do meditations that I enjoyed, they are 'the honest guys.' Deepak Chopra also has some good guided meditations on YOUTUBE. I found them all to be helpful.</p><p></p><p>In terms of finding help with your own anxiety, I found acupuncture to be a great resource in keeping my mind/body/emotions in a relaxed and peaceful place. </p><p></p><p>I think it would be beneficial for you to stop looking for what you did or didn't do to cause your son's depression. It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this. If it's a genetic factor, which it clearly is in my family, I began looking at it as a life lesson for myself and for my daughter.....we both have learned a great deal in navigating ourselves thru this. Seeing it that way took me out of the victim stance and gave me a fresh perspective of doing my best to learn and change. I see it as a spiritual opportunity for growth, awareness, acceptance and finding peace in the midst of the 'stuff' life can throw at us. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting, it helps a lot to write down our feelings, our stories and our fears. Hang in there. Get yourself some support. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 723164, member: 13542"] Welcome DS. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation with your son. I can understand your concerns about suicide. I've learned that that question you pose has no answer and serves to keep us stuck in guilt trying to find the reasons this has happened to us. Many times there are no answers, as trite as it sounds, it is what is is. What we have to do is learn to accept what we can't change, control or fix. I know, not an easy thing to do. However, for me, it is the way to find peace. I believe the way for us parents to find some kind of solace in these devastating experiences we've been given is to first, take care of US. To learn to put ourselves as the priority by nurturing ourselves and taking care of our own needs. Often as we put all our energy into saving our adult troubled kids, we become depleted and used to not taking care of ourselves, everything goes to our kids. It is a recipe for depression, anxiety and fear. I found some solace in reading books by Pema Chodron, who is a Buddhist nun who specializes in teachings about living in uncertainty and chaos. I also found solace in books by Eckhart Tolle who teaches about living in the now and acceptance of what we cannot control. I have a great deal of mental illness throughout my entire family, I understand how desperate we can become in trying to help those who either cannot or will not help themselves. So, I had to learn how to accept what I can't change........or I would have gone crazy along with them. Meditation helped me as well. If you are unfamiliar with meditation, you can find help on YOUTUBE. There are 2 men from the UK who do meditations that I enjoyed, they are 'the honest guys.' Deepak Chopra also has some good guided meditations on YOUTUBE. I found them all to be helpful. In terms of finding help with your own anxiety, I found acupuncture to be a great resource in keeping my mind/body/emotions in a relaxed and peaceful place. I think it would be beneficial for you to stop looking for what you did or didn't do to cause your son's depression. It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this. If it's a genetic factor, which it clearly is in my family, I began looking at it as a life lesson for myself and for my daughter.....we both have learned a great deal in navigating ourselves thru this. Seeing it that way took me out of the victim stance and gave me a fresh perspective of doing my best to learn and change. I see it as a spiritual opportunity for growth, awareness, acceptance and finding peace in the midst of the 'stuff' life can throw at us. Keep posting, it helps a lot to write down our feelings, our stories and our fears. Hang in there. Get yourself some support. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Wondering what I did! feeling suicidal again!
Top