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Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 673629" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>GoingNorth, these first two quotes are from another thread, I think. They showed up here so I will address them. Initially, I felt pain so I did not do so right away. A good kind of pain that helps me know myself a bit better.Yes. </p><p></p><p>There are those dreams that that he be and do something gratifying. And or to be happy and to have kids. There is the dream that for the rest of my life we have the happiness together that we did for so many years. There is the wish to have the sense that I parented him well. Better than I had been parented. So much to lament, whether appropriate or not. I have learned here that he live my dreams is not my business to want...but it is hard to let go.</p><p>The thing that makes our situation so hard is that he has a chronic disease that may well limit his lifespan. Thus there could be an endpoint that I may live to see. He is not treatment compliant, so this contributes to a very painful dynamic in our relationship. He hurts me as much or more than he hurts himself by neglecting his health. I resent it. I am angry and I am scared.</p><p>I worked for a long time in California Prisons. Once I walked into a woman's prison with an attorney who was an ombudsman from a local tribe in the Sierra Nevada. He was going to visit a woman to handle some legal matter for her. He told me he would assist any Native person in California, of whatever tribal or indigenous group. </p><p></p><p>I remember another male inmate who was assisted in another prison, in another part of the state. </p><p></p><p>I think the help is available no matter what the issue. It is just the belonging and the need. </p><p></p><p>There must be a clan or extended family authority or council on your island with whom you might begin. If you want me to try to find information here I will try by making phone calls. </p><p></p><p>If it is sexual slavery there are significant resources available for treatment, relocation, advocacy, and legal help. If you want I can try to locate resources for you to contact. You can let me know by PM.</p><p></p><p>By your daughter's statement, it might be this but it could be too that she feels she cannot remove herself from the situation by her own psychological dependency and drug dependency and does not feel the strength yet to do so.</p><p></p><p>Maybe if you contact some battered women's groups and/or groups that work with women who have been involved in prostitution they will know of a way you can better support your daughter to leave.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, this is a very common situation. Think about it. What more does a woman typically have to exploit? </p><p></p><p>I remember listening to a program in the oilfields in North Dakota. An ex-prostitute told her own story and described her efforts in the oilfields to assist the many prostitutes there. I was so moved by it.</p><p></p><p>New Leaf, I wish you did not have to "go there" in your worry and concern. That is what is so cold and harsh about our situations. Where we must go, to follow our children.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 673629, member: 18958"] GoingNorth, these first two quotes are from another thread, I think. They showed up here so I will address them. Initially, I felt pain so I did not do so right away. A good kind of pain that helps me know myself a bit better.Yes. There are those dreams that that he be and do something gratifying. And or to be happy and to have kids. There is the dream that for the rest of my life we have the happiness together that we did for so many years. There is the wish to have the sense that I parented him well. Better than I had been parented. So much to lament, whether appropriate or not. I have learned here that he live my dreams is not my business to want...but it is hard to let go. The thing that makes our situation so hard is that he has a chronic disease that may well limit his lifespan. Thus there could be an endpoint that I may live to see. He is not treatment compliant, so this contributes to a very painful dynamic in our relationship. He hurts me as much or more than he hurts himself by neglecting his health. I resent it. I am angry and I am scared. I worked for a long time in California Prisons. Once I walked into a woman's prison with an attorney who was an ombudsman from a local tribe in the Sierra Nevada. He was going to visit a woman to handle some legal matter for her. He told me he would assist any Native person in California, of whatever tribal or indigenous group. I remember another male inmate who was assisted in another prison, in another part of the state. I think the help is available no matter what the issue. It is just the belonging and the need. There must be a clan or extended family authority or council on your island with whom you might begin. If you want me to try to find information here I will try by making phone calls. If it is sexual slavery there are significant resources available for treatment, relocation, advocacy, and legal help. If you want I can try to locate resources for you to contact. You can let me know by PM. By your daughter's statement, it might be this but it could be too that she feels she cannot remove herself from the situation by her own psychological dependency and drug dependency and does not feel the strength yet to do so. Maybe if you contact some battered women's groups and/or groups that work with women who have been involved in prostitution they will know of a way you can better support your daughter to leave. Unfortunately, this is a very common situation. Think about it. What more does a woman typically have to exploit? I remember listening to a program in the oilfields in North Dakota. An ex-prostitute told her own story and described her efforts in the oilfields to assist the many prostitutes there. I was so moved by it. New Leaf, I wish you did not have to "go there" in your worry and concern. That is what is so cold and harsh about our situations. Where we must go, to follow our children. COPA [/QUOTE]
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