Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 673703" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I will learn more about addiction. I already thought I knew everything about it, which is always a fatal error for me. To intellectualize a thing and think that is an answer to suffering, I mean. Maybe, if I can remember these factual things, I can keep myself out of that black abandonment place that has to do with childhood trauma but somehow, keeps getting mixed in with the trauma surrounding my children.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I love your description of Sleeping Beauty kisses.</p><p></p><p>I think I may have just gotten that imagery and you are exactly right.</p><p></p><p>And raising kids was like dreaming full dreams that were so real we could taste them, and feel the wonderful warmness of the celebration their lives and ours were and would be and our gratitude was so perfectly warm and happy and right, like a symphony with stars and then, right in the middle of it BOOM. They were <em>gone.</em></p><p></p><p>And we were turned into Isis searching for the lost parts and then, into Maleficent, stuffing a turkey no one but us is here to eat when everyone should have been here making the turkey the secondary thing instead of the star of the show. (Isis the goddess, you guys. Not the soldiers.)</p><p></p><p>The trick I think is less how to love them still, or to be grateful for what we had, than it is to understand that addiction piece. Or, like Headlights Mom posted for us on P.E. that time, about gratitude: <em>"Lest I grow cold...."</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Maybe, we need to look at this part too as the process of becoming our own best mothers. That is what Maya did. And then, she rewrote the story for herself, and for everyone else too, even us.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I will read Maya again.</p><p></p><p>Did you know she has a cookbook? The Halleluiah Table and I love it, and read one of the stories in it to my Book Club.</p><p></p><p>And they loved it, too.</p><p></p><p>And here is an interesting aside Copa, given that we were just talking about being stood up: The story was about a long, tall, beautiful man who dumped Maya after she came to his apartment early in the week and found a woman there that he loved and who knew all about Maya's evening visits. The woman left so the man could dump Maya in private and he offered her some of the woman's rice pudding.</p><p></p><p>So Maya got up and went home and made her own rice pudding. And never went back there again, because he made her feel too big and ungainly and unattractive <em>and he was right.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>But she was doing it to herself. He was being nefarious, but Maya was doing the rest of it to herself, all by herself <em>and she knew it all along</em>.</p><p></p><p>And that is the recipe for Rice Pudding in the book.</p><p></p><p>So, I don't know how all that fits in here, but it probably does.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 673703, member: 17461"] I will learn more about addiction. I already thought I knew everything about it, which is always a fatal error for me. To intellectualize a thing and think that is an answer to suffering, I mean. Maybe, if I can remember these factual things, I can keep myself out of that black abandonment place that has to do with childhood trauma but somehow, keeps getting mixed in with the trauma surrounding my children. Copa, I love your description of Sleeping Beauty kisses. I think I may have just gotten that imagery and you are exactly right. And raising kids was like dreaming full dreams that were so real we could taste them, and feel the wonderful warmness of the celebration their lives and ours were and would be and our gratitude was so perfectly warm and happy and right, like a symphony with stars and then, right in the middle of it BOOM. They were [I]gone.[/I] And we were turned into Isis searching for the lost parts and then, into Maleficent, stuffing a turkey no one but us is here to eat when everyone should have been here making the turkey the secondary thing instead of the star of the show. (Isis the goddess, you guys. Not the soldiers.) The trick I think is less how to love them still, or to be grateful for what we had, than it is to understand that addiction piece. Or, like Headlights Mom posted for us on P.E. that time, about gratitude: [I]"Lest I grow cold...." Maybe, we need to look at this part too as the process of becoming our own best mothers. That is what Maya did. And then, she rewrote the story for herself, and for everyone else too, even us. [/I] I will read Maya again. Did you know she has a cookbook? The Halleluiah Table and I love it, and read one of the stories in it to my Book Club. And they loved it, too. And here is an interesting aside Copa, given that we were just talking about being stood up: The story was about a long, tall, beautiful man who dumped Maya after she came to his apartment early in the week and found a woman there that he loved and who knew all about Maya's evening visits. The woman left so the man could dump Maya in private and he offered her some of the woman's rice pudding. So Maya got up and went home and made her own rice pudding. And never went back there again, because he made her feel too big and ungainly and unattractive [I]and he was right. [/I] But she was doing it to herself. He was being nefarious, but Maya was doing the rest of it to herself, all by herself [I]and she knew it all along[/I]. And that is the recipe for Rice Pudding in the book. So, I don't know how all that fits in here, but it probably does. Cedar [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
Top