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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674214" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Okay. So, here is something else I thought about . Maybe, we were so busy being strong and kind and good and believing so hard we could all do this coming together as family that we never acknowledged or listened to or incorporated our own negatives.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, that is what is happening to us, now.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is why this part feels so personally, individually awful.</p><p></p><p>We could never have discussed these feelings, which may be normal parts of things to be looked at as developing children, with our abusers. Or, given our trust issues and our need to be perfect and perfectly strong, with anyone else, either.</p><p></p><p>So it could be that in a very real sense we are indeed reparenting ourselves as we come through this part.</p><p></p><p>I like that thinking very much.</p><p></p><p>Now, I know how to do this.</p><p></p><p>I think the intensity of the negativity was scaring me because it felt so much like my mom. Like, inescapable. Like "Don't you dare." and "Just don't think." And etc. </p><p></p><p>But I am not there, anymore.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>So we were right, then. We need to cherish ourselves through this time and whatever worse is coming next as, in a perfect world, we would have been cherished through these normal developmental stages when we were children.</p><p></p><p>These are normal developmental phases you guys.</p><p></p><p>We can do this.</p><p></p><p><em>We were great mothers. Honestly, you know it it true. We were really great moms. We can absolutely deal with these issues just as we did for our children.</em></p><p></p><p>We were good moms. Happy and loving and kind moms.</p><p></p><p>Healing two very very big birds with one diamond stone, then. I can stop asking myself how this happened to my children that I loved too much because they were the Sleeping Beauty kiss that brought me back to life. The hardest part about it was recognizing that the stone was a diamond. Huge, like IZ in the blue water.</p><p></p><p>Huge like that.</p><p></p><p>And all we do is shine the light through the facets of the diamond.</p><p></p><p>It is not a throwing rock.</p><p></p><p>It is a rock from:</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]Q5dU6serXkg[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>Like that. From that place.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674214, member: 17461"] Okay. So, here is something else I thought about . Maybe, we were so busy being strong and kind and good and believing so hard we could all do this coming together as family that we never acknowledged or listened to or incorporated our own negatives. Maybe, that is what is happening to us, now. Maybe that is why this part feels so personally, individually awful. We could never have discussed these feelings, which may be normal parts of things to be looked at as developing children, with our abusers. Or, given our trust issues and our need to be perfect and perfectly strong, with anyone else, either. So it could be that in a very real sense we are indeed reparenting ourselves as we come through this part. I like that thinking very much. Now, I know how to do this. I think the intensity of the negativity was scaring me because it felt so much like my mom. Like, inescapable. Like "Don't you dare." and "Just don't think." And etc. But I am not there, anymore. :O) So we were right, then. We need to cherish ourselves through this time and whatever worse is coming next as, in a perfect world, we would have been cherished through these normal developmental stages when we were children. These are normal developmental phases you guys. We can do this. [I]We were great mothers. Honestly, you know it it true. We were really great moms. We can absolutely deal with these issues just as we did for our children.[/I] We were good moms. Happy and loving and kind moms. Healing two very very big birds with one diamond stone, then. I can stop asking myself how this happened to my children that I loved too much because they were the Sleeping Beauty kiss that brought me back to life. The hardest part about it was recognizing that the stone was a diamond. Huge, like IZ in the blue water. Huge like that. And all we do is shine the light through the facets of the diamond. It is not a throwing rock. It is a rock from: [MEDIA=youtube]Q5dU6serXkg[/MEDIA] Like that. From that place. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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