Hello! Thank you for your comments and advice! We aren't going for adoption but just legal guardianship. We can chose to terminate at any time (which we don't plan on doing)- or their parents can take us back to court (which neither cared this time around so I doubt they will). But the boys knowing that we have permanent guardianship helps them feel more secure. This was able to open up family conversation and the youngest expressed that he always feels like he gets "thrown away." He holds grudges and never lets his wall down which creates a lot of the problems and anger within him which causes these blowouts and issues. It'll still be a rough road but I think talking about it was a huge hurdle for him and us. He has been more positive as well since he is passing all his classes (first time since 3rd grade or so) and now that he has been on ADHD medication for longer period I've noticed little things around the house are being done more without us having to ask him multiple times which relieves a lot as well.
I've always had the mother instinct so when it comes to doctors appointments, schools, etc I jumped right into that and took over to get the boys on the right track but my fiancé does his part when he can. Sometimes his schedule can be tough but he's home with the boys every morning, makes sure they get up (the youngest doesn't get up on his own) and makes sure he takes his medication and eats breakfast before leaving for the bus on time. We're 100% on the same page when it comes to how we are trying to parent them and we talk every day about our feelings and what we need to address and work on and if we are feeling frustrated!
I'm praying that we can continue to look upwards and take more steps forward than back! And summer vacation starts soon which will be a huge relief for everyone to relax and not worry about school, homework, tests, etc!
Thank you very much for your kind words and advice!
