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Worn out step-mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 486924" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>In addition to what you've already done, you might want to set up evaluations with both a good neurologist and a neuropsychologist to give you an even more in depth view of what you're dealing with. I'm going to guess, given her father's age, that her mother was considerably older when she gave birth to this child which increases chances of prenatal issues as well as birth trauma that can cause brain damage. From what you describe, sounds as if you may be dealing with as much along those lines than "true" mental disorders which require a different approach to treatment. </p><p></p><p>If it's not already been done, I'd file for disability benefits for her, it's obvious she's going to need them. Then look into adult assisted living facilities for the mentally handicapped. Even our small town has a halfway house for them. I live across the alley from it. Such facilities assist them with whatever daily living needs they have as well as transport to and from school or work. Some technical centers (used to be known as vocational centers back in the day) train the mentally handicapped for specific job functions to help them become more marketable and will even work on social skills and training for job interviews ect. The Tech center my son attended provided such services and their students did quite well. </p><p></p><p>I battled the hygiene wars with my son for literally years. After a while......I switched to "do to get". Food was his primary motivator. If he wanted to eat, he made sure he was clean. (no I didn't starve him lol ) He's still not perfect but he doesn't reek or look awful and if I tell him it's time to hit the shower he will. </p><p></p><p>You aren't selfish for wanting alone time with your new husband. And it's good to set up as many services you can get into place for this girl as quickly as possible, for her benefit, and for yours. You'll need to know if she will be at one point able to function independently, if not, then you need to make plans for that as well. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 486924, member: 84"] Welcome :) In addition to what you've already done, you might want to set up evaluations with both a good neurologist and a neuropsychologist to give you an even more in depth view of what you're dealing with. I'm going to guess, given her father's age, that her mother was considerably older when she gave birth to this child which increases chances of prenatal issues as well as birth trauma that can cause brain damage. From what you describe, sounds as if you may be dealing with as much along those lines than "true" mental disorders which require a different approach to treatment. If it's not already been done, I'd file for disability benefits for her, it's obvious she's going to need them. Then look into adult assisted living facilities for the mentally handicapped. Even our small town has a halfway house for them. I live across the alley from it. Such facilities assist them with whatever daily living needs they have as well as transport to and from school or work. Some technical centers (used to be known as vocational centers back in the day) train the mentally handicapped for specific job functions to help them become more marketable and will even work on social skills and training for job interviews ect. The Tech center my son attended provided such services and their students did quite well. I battled the hygiene wars with my son for literally years. After a while......I switched to "do to get". Food was his primary motivator. If he wanted to eat, he made sure he was clean. (no I didn't starve him lol ) He's still not perfect but he doesn't reek or look awful and if I tell him it's time to hit the shower he will. You aren't selfish for wanting alone time with your new husband. And it's good to set up as many services you can get into place for this girl as quickly as possible, for her benefit, and for yours. You'll need to know if she will be at one point able to function independently, if not, then you need to make plans for that as well. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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