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worried my young children will be addicts as well
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 680608" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi JMom, </p><p></p><p>I've thought the same things about any future grandchildren (if any). I also have worried about my older son. He doesn't drink and it's because of his dad (recovering alcoholic) and his brother, Difficult Child (recovering drug addict). My brother whois 51 is an active alcoholic. My grandmother was a drug addict (legally through unscrupulous doctors). On and on. </p><p></p><p>Every family has addiction and mental illness. It's genetic and there's nothing we can do about it. </p><p></p><p>I do agree that keeping teenagers busy is good for many reasons. My Difficult Child's very abrupt slide didn't start until he was 19. He did some drinking (and who knows, maybe some other things) in h.s. but he didn't go full-blown and I believe a major reason was that he played on the h.s. soccer team, he loved it, and he really wanted to please his coach. I'm thankful in many ways, but wish I could have gotten him help before he was 18 because once they turn 18, you can't really make much happen unless they agree.</p><p></p><p>But whatever. I mean, really, woulda, shoulda, coulda. </p><p></p><p>We do the best we can. What more can we do? We can't do or know what we don't know to do. </p><p></p><p>We can't put ourselves through the "have to control this" obsession. We can't control any of it. Can we influence our kids? For sure. Influence is what we need to be doing. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps you can communicate with them the dangers of addiction, and/or have them meet with a family counselor and you to talk about their brother's struggles. Sometimes it's better that they hear it from an outside source. </p><p></p><p>But please, be gentle with yourself. You know so much more know about what addiction is. I pray your precious daughters are never in the grip of this awful disease, but you know what to do if it ever did happen.</p><p></p><p>Regardless, we're here for you. Warm hugs tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 680608, member: 17542"] Hi JMom, I've thought the same things about any future grandchildren (if any). I also have worried about my older son. He doesn't drink and it's because of his dad (recovering alcoholic) and his brother, Difficult Child (recovering drug addict). My brother whois 51 is an active alcoholic. My grandmother was a drug addict (legally through unscrupulous doctors). On and on. Every family has addiction and mental illness. It's genetic and there's nothing we can do about it. I do agree that keeping teenagers busy is good for many reasons. My Difficult Child's very abrupt slide didn't start until he was 19. He did some drinking (and who knows, maybe some other things) in h.s. but he didn't go full-blown and I believe a major reason was that he played on the h.s. soccer team, he loved it, and he really wanted to please his coach. I'm thankful in many ways, but wish I could have gotten him help before he was 18 because once they turn 18, you can't really make much happen unless they agree. But whatever. I mean, really, woulda, shoulda, coulda. We do the best we can. What more can we do? We can't do or know what we don't know to do. We can't put ourselves through the "have to control this" obsession. We can't control any of it. Can we influence our kids? For sure. Influence is what we need to be doing. Perhaps you can communicate with them the dangers of addiction, and/or have them meet with a family counselor and you to talk about their brother's struggles. Sometimes it's better that they hear it from an outside source. But please, be gentle with yourself. You know so much more know about what addiction is. I pray your precious daughters are never in the grip of this awful disease, but you know what to do if it ever did happen. Regardless, we're here for you. Warm hugs tonight. [/QUOTE]
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