Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Worried yet again
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694544" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>TL. RN has a thread right now that I have been posting on. I believe the posts I wrote today (not the last one about my sister and mother) but the ones before, could apply to your situation. They certainly apply to my own. Like Going and darkwing, I believe you have never detached fully. Your sadness now, your hopelessness, is the realization that you cannot do it for him or even with him, because as long as you are there with him, he thinks and feels it is about you, not him. I agree with darkwing that he has never before been serious. That does not mean he will not be in the future. But there is no place in his recovery for you. That is what you are seeing. You have hit your bottom. He has not, it seems, hit his.</p><p></p><p>That is what I tried to articulate on RN's thread. As long as we suffer for them or even with them they do not ever seem to take responsibility for their actions or their recovery. Because we love them so much, and they know it, they are used to seeing us bear the pain of it. If we back out of it--they are forced to bear their own pain and consequences themselves.</p><p></p><p>Now I am feeling the hypocrite because not only is my son in my home but I have insisted he not use marijuana here. (I never said I was either logical or consistent. Just wordy.) </p><p></p><p>But that is not entirely fair to me. From September to March I backed all the way out. I never called. When he called I could not get off the phone fast enough. I said, no, oh, and so. It was my greatest hour.</p><p>Yes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694544, member: 18958"] TL. RN has a thread right now that I have been posting on. I believe the posts I wrote today (not the last one about my sister and mother) but the ones before, could apply to your situation. They certainly apply to my own. Like Going and darkwing, I believe you have never detached fully. Your sadness now, your hopelessness, is the realization that you cannot do it for him or even with him, because as long as you are there with him, he thinks and feels it is about you, not him. I agree with darkwing that he has never before been serious. That does not mean he will not be in the future. But there is no place in his recovery for you. That is what you are seeing. You have hit your bottom. He has not, it seems, hit his. That is what I tried to articulate on RN's thread. As long as we suffer for them or even with them they do not ever seem to take responsibility for their actions or their recovery. Because we love them so much, and they know it, they are used to seeing us bear the pain of it. If we back out of it--they are forced to bear their own pain and consequences themselves. Now I am feeling the hypocrite because not only is my son in my home but I have insisted he not use marijuana here. (I never said I was either logical or consistent. Just wordy.) But that is not entirely fair to me. From September to March I backed all the way out. I never called. When he called I could not get off the phone fast enough. I said, no, oh, and so. It was my greatest hour. Yes. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Worried yet again
Top