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worst day ever
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 375779" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry things are so rough. Sometimes people have a paradoxical reaction to medications, meaning medications that should make them tired instead rev them up. It is not uncommon in kids and in some adults. I don't have any real research to back this up, but from talking to a LOT of people with kids on the autistic spectrum or who are on the spectrum themselves, it seems more common in people on the autistic spectrum somewhere. Sometimes people on the autistic spectrum react that way to low doses of a medication but if given a higher dose they get the expected results. I do this with MANY medications, including ativan.</p><p> </p><p>It is one of the worst medications for me. It dulls things just enought to let everything irritate me completely, but not enough to get any sleep or practical benefit. I thought that benzos wouldn't work for me at all because I reacted that way to ativan. Then a psychiatrist pushed me to try a stronger benzo and I got the expected result - it wasn't as strong a result as the doctor expected, but it did make it a lot easier to sleep and to not be a total witch to my family. </p><p> </p><p>I would not be super quick to judge all benzos as being unhelpful unless she has tried at least 3 at a therapeutic dose.</p><p> </p><p>Of course this doesn't help you today. I know you love her deeply and this is terribly hard to cope with, esp when it can last for months.</p><p> </p><p>Has difficult child ever been in a psychiatric hospital to let the docs get a really GOOD picture of what she is like? Or is there any chance of putting in some videocameras to record her rages/outbursts/whatevers?</p><p> </p><p>I think none of the docs have gotten a really good look at what her behaviors are and how hard it is to live with her. Showing them video might help that a whole lot. Or having her in a psychiatric hospital where she can be monitored for a few days might be needed. Many psychiatrists and tdocs don't really believe us when we describe how our kids behave. They think we are over reacting or being dramatic and it takes a while for them to realize that the outrageous things we are telling them are actually understating the problems. Video can help fix that problem very quickly. You can get cheap cameras that will transmit to you computer if you search the web for them. Check out online spy shops and ebay as a start.</p><p> </p><p>I think I remember you saying she was great at her dads, and that it helped you a lot. Would it be possible for her to live with him for a couple of months, or even just a month to let you start to dig out of your depression and marital problems?? I know it will be hard not to see her daily, but it may be best for everyone. It was very hard to let Wiz go to live with my parents. I came to realize I was not a failure as a mom but that my child required me to parent him very differently than could be done in a home iwth other children. A great therapist at the DV center is responsible for starting to get me to believe that.</p><p> </p><p>If NOTHING else happens this week you have got to get on the phone and get an appointment for YOU with your reg doctor so you can get a referral to a good psychiatrist and therapist FOR YOU. You are very close to falling over the edge mentally and emotionally. SOMETHING must happen very soon or you are going to end up getting really really sick with depression - so sick that YOU end up in a hospital!!!</p><p> </p><p>Let difficult child's dad care for her for a few weeks, unless he is a child abuser. It should be long enough for her honeymoon to wear off (the start of school will likely help this) so that dad can see the problems she has.</p><p> </p><p>You NEED to focus on you for a while, otherwise you will not be the kind of mom, wife, caretaker, employee that you want to be.</p><p> </p><p>I am worried about you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your health a priority.</p><p> </p><p>There is a whole lot of truth in the old saying "If Mom isn't happy, nobody is happy" and in the saying "Happy Wife, Happy Life". You are NEVER going to be able to help your daughter triumph over her problems unless/until you can triumph over your own. There is no shame in getting help, in fact it sets a wonderful example for your kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 375779, member: 1233"] I am sorry things are so rough. Sometimes people have a paradoxical reaction to medications, meaning medications that should make them tired instead rev them up. It is not uncommon in kids and in some adults. I don't have any real research to back this up, but from talking to a LOT of people with kids on the autistic spectrum or who are on the spectrum themselves, it seems more common in people on the autistic spectrum somewhere. Sometimes people on the autistic spectrum react that way to low doses of a medication but if given a higher dose they get the expected results. I do this with MANY medications, including ativan. It is one of the worst medications for me. It dulls things just enought to let everything irritate me completely, but not enough to get any sleep or practical benefit. I thought that benzos wouldn't work for me at all because I reacted that way to ativan. Then a psychiatrist pushed me to try a stronger benzo and I got the expected result - it wasn't as strong a result as the doctor expected, but it did make it a lot easier to sleep and to not be a total witch to my family. I would not be super quick to judge all benzos as being unhelpful unless she has tried at least 3 at a therapeutic dose. Of course this doesn't help you today. I know you love her deeply and this is terribly hard to cope with, esp when it can last for months. Has difficult child ever been in a psychiatric hospital to let the docs get a really GOOD picture of what she is like? Or is there any chance of putting in some videocameras to record her rages/outbursts/whatevers? I think none of the docs have gotten a really good look at what her behaviors are and how hard it is to live with her. Showing them video might help that a whole lot. Or having her in a psychiatric hospital where she can be monitored for a few days might be needed. Many psychiatrists and tdocs don't really believe us when we describe how our kids behave. They think we are over reacting or being dramatic and it takes a while for them to realize that the outrageous things we are telling them are actually understating the problems. Video can help fix that problem very quickly. You can get cheap cameras that will transmit to you computer if you search the web for them. Check out online spy shops and ebay as a start. I think I remember you saying she was great at her dads, and that it helped you a lot. Would it be possible for her to live with him for a couple of months, or even just a month to let you start to dig out of your depression and marital problems?? I know it will be hard not to see her daily, but it may be best for everyone. It was very hard to let Wiz go to live with my parents. I came to realize I was not a failure as a mom but that my child required me to parent him very differently than could be done in a home iwth other children. A great therapist at the DV center is responsible for starting to get me to believe that. If NOTHING else happens this week you have got to get on the phone and get an appointment for YOU with your reg doctor so you can get a referral to a good psychiatrist and therapist FOR YOU. You are very close to falling over the edge mentally and emotionally. SOMETHING must happen very soon or you are going to end up getting really really sick with depression - so sick that YOU end up in a hospital!!! Let difficult child's dad care for her for a few weeks, unless he is a child abuser. It should be long enough for her honeymoon to wear off (the start of school will likely help this) so that dad can see the problems she has. You NEED to focus on you for a while, otherwise you will not be the kind of mom, wife, caretaker, employee that you want to be. I am worried about you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your health a priority. There is a whole lot of truth in the old saying "If Mom isn't happy, nobody is happy" and in the saying "Happy Wife, Happy Life". You are NEVER going to be able to help your daughter triumph over her problems unless/until you can triumph over your own. There is no shame in getting help, in fact it sets a wonderful example for your kids. [/QUOTE]
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