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General Parenting
Would it be better to split up than both of us suffering?
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 734834" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>I certainly understand this dilemma. My husband didn't sign up for this 35 years ago when he married me with my three children and his two. It's my daughter and her ex that that have failed at parenting and adulting so that we have to raise their kids. My husband is 10 years older than me, retired, and does the heavy lifting for the childcare since I'm still working. Grandson's problems are particularly onerous to my gentlemanly, old-school husband. He's resentful about grandson's antics the embarrassment it's caused for us in our community. This is not how he envisioned his retirement when he was working two jobs his whole life to take care of the family.</p><p></p><p>We have a daughter (his daughter) and grandchild down in Southern California that we would love to visit and spend time with but can't because he's needed around here. Sometimes they need help with something around their house and my husband has figure out how and if he can do it. We can't travel together, haven't had a vacation in years, and don't see any end to it. We raised five kids together and were happy that we were done. Pffffft. </p><p></p><p>I do sometimes wonder if it would be better off if I just ripped off the bandaid and left with the kids, sold our home, split up our assets and move on. I'm sure he feels the same way at times, but we're in it for better or worse, richer or poorer, (although we didn't have that in our vows, it is a value we hold). </p><p></p><p>In the end, we have good days and awful days. I feel like we're living as siblings almost, and just trying to get stuff taken care of.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 734834, member: 13260"] I certainly understand this dilemma. My husband didn't sign up for this 35 years ago when he married me with my three children and his two. It's my daughter and her ex that that have failed at parenting and adulting so that we have to raise their kids. My husband is 10 years older than me, retired, and does the heavy lifting for the childcare since I'm still working. Grandson's problems are particularly onerous to my gentlemanly, old-school husband. He's resentful about grandson's antics the embarrassment it's caused for us in our community. This is not how he envisioned his retirement when he was working two jobs his whole life to take care of the family. We have a daughter (his daughter) and grandchild down in Southern California that we would love to visit and spend time with but can't because he's needed around here. Sometimes they need help with something around their house and my husband has figure out how and if he can do it. We can't travel together, haven't had a vacation in years, and don't see any end to it. We raised five kids together and were happy that we were done. Pffffft. I do sometimes wonder if it would be better off if I just ripped off the bandaid and left with the kids, sold our home, split up our assets and move on. I'm sure he feels the same way at times, but we're in it for better or worse, richer or poorer, (although we didn't have that in our vows, it is a value we hold). In the end, we have good days and awful days. I feel like we're living as siblings almost, and just trying to get stuff taken care of. [/QUOTE]
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Would it be better to split up than both of us suffering?
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