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General Parenting
Would it be better to split up than both of us suffering?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 734863" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>My husband helped raise my (then) 11 year old granddaughter (she's 22 now) and was on board for the worst years of my daughter's shenanigans......he sure didn't sign on for any of it......but he showed up for all of it.....and now my granddaughter is grown and my daughter has stabilized......and we have the life we were imagining a number of years ago.....it just arrived a little later. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think that's very good advice.....it is usually OUR guilt that doesn't want another to struggle as we do......however, your husband loves you and obviously has a commitment for "better or worse"......and he told you he doesn't want to leave........I let my husband know then and to this day still tell him how grateful I am to him for his commitment to me, my daughter and granddaughter.....</p><p></p><p>......One thing my husband and I began when my daughter was severely off the rails is a weekly road trip to the ocean, the woods, the city.......just a day trip out of Dodge to reclaim our relationship and get out of the every day worries and angst that my daughter or a teenager created. It was such a helpful strategy that we continue it to this day....fun, carefree trips out of town...</p><p></p><p>Have you tried contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness? They offer parenting classes which are very helpful. Here is the link: <a href="https://www.nami.org/#" target="_blank">NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness</a></p><p>Perhaps you and your husband might attend one of their classes together to learn options, and to get information, support and resources.</p><p></p><p>This is hard stuff.......and a whole lot easier when we have a partner we trust whom is willing to share the tough times as well as the good times. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, you're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 734863, member: 13542"] My husband helped raise my (then) 11 year old granddaughter (she's 22 now) and was on board for the worst years of my daughter's shenanigans......he sure didn't sign on for any of it......but he showed up for all of it.....and now my granddaughter is grown and my daughter has stabilized......and we have the life we were imagining a number of years ago.....it just arrived a little later. I think that's very good advice.....it is usually OUR guilt that doesn't want another to struggle as we do......however, your husband loves you and obviously has a commitment for "better or worse"......and he told you he doesn't want to leave........I let my husband know then and to this day still tell him how grateful I am to him for his commitment to me, my daughter and granddaughter..... ......One thing my husband and I began when my daughter was severely off the rails is a weekly road trip to the ocean, the woods, the city.......just a day trip out of Dodge to reclaim our relationship and get out of the every day worries and angst that my daughter or a teenager created. It was such a helpful strategy that we continue it to this day....fun, carefree trips out of town... Have you tried contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness? They offer parenting classes which are very helpful. Here is the link: [URL="https://www.nami.org/#"]NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness[/URL] Perhaps you and your husband might attend one of their classes together to learn options, and to get information, support and resources. This is hard stuff.......and a whole lot easier when we have a partner we trust whom is willing to share the tough times as well as the good times. Hang in there, you're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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Would it be better to split up than both of us suffering?
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