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Would you do this for your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 561106" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I can see both pros and cons at helping. Trying to help and him not doing his part may be incredibly frustrating and make your relationship harder. Helping him can also diminish some lessons he needs to learn. I also assume that your system is similar enough to ours that if you don't help, social service will do it more or less. </p><p></p><p>But he is so very young and it really isn't realistic to expect him to really be able to do all that kind of things that living independently means without any emotional support and some coaching. I know mine wasn't even close to ready to all that, when he left at seventeen (okay, he is more immature than his years) and needed quite a lot of practical help and advise in his independent living. He still needs at times. We were lucky that he was and is driven to make it, so it makes helping much easier and less frustrating. I can easily see how us trying to give advise etc. could be really frustrating and hard to our relationship with him, if he wouldn't even try himself.</p><p></p><p>maybe you could try giving him tips and see how it goes? If he just scoffs them off and makes you boil from frustration, when you do know that trying to help him wasn't such a bright idea. If then again he does take some of your advise and tips in, you are helping your relationship with him and that is a good thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 561106, member: 14557"] I can see both pros and cons at helping. Trying to help and him not doing his part may be incredibly frustrating and make your relationship harder. Helping him can also diminish some lessons he needs to learn. I also assume that your system is similar enough to ours that if you don't help, social service will do it more or less. But he is so very young and it really isn't realistic to expect him to really be able to do all that kind of things that living independently means without any emotional support and some coaching. I know mine wasn't even close to ready to all that, when he left at seventeen (okay, he is more immature than his years) and needed quite a lot of practical help and advise in his independent living. He still needs at times. We were lucky that he was and is driven to make it, so it makes helping much easier and less frustrating. I can easily see how us trying to give advise etc. could be really frustrating and hard to our relationship with him, if he wouldn't even try himself. maybe you could try giving him tips and see how it goes? If he just scoffs them off and makes you boil from frustration, when you do know that trying to help him wasn't such a bright idea. If then again he does take some of your advise and tips in, you are helping your relationship with him and that is a good thing. [/QUOTE]
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