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Xmas weirdness continues
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 754549" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Nomad, you tried to make your daughter part of the family gathering. She did not behave as a contributing member. I am sad for you that she made this choice.</p><p></p><p>As for bi-polar, or not, it is your Difficult Child behavior that is at hand here. My own has not recieved a diagnosis because she refuses to get help, lives with whoever she can find, this month and is literally drinking herself to death. I suspect bi-polar (runs in family) and Borderline (BPD), but it doesnt really matter what the diagnosis is when our Difficult Child makes such poor choices. </p><p></p><p>Maybe she shouldn't be invited to be part of family gatherings unless she is willing to make her contribution a positive one. </p><p></p><p>My wish for you and her is that she want to be that person enough to make plans and arrangements on her own. And, if she doesn't, I hope you understand that is her choice. </p><p></p><p>We were going to do the same as you for our Difficult Child and offered it a while ago only to be told we were rude and uncaring to offer such a thing for "when she is healthy" implying we weren't there to send money that day. I drove myself nuts thinking what such a visit would look like, would she leave, etc. </p><p></p><p>She managed to send some very demeaning and abusive texts a couple of weeks ago. That's when I decided I didnt want her here under those circumstances. I sent her Amazon gift card as usual and Christmas Day she sent a very kind text with love for all. She did same with her brother (he too lives in another state). Though I went through a challenging period, I am grateful I stayed the course. I hope sharing this is helpful for you.</p><p></p><p>In healing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 754549, member: 23811"] Nomad, you tried to make your daughter part of the family gathering. She did not behave as a contributing member. I am sad for you that she made this choice. As for bi-polar, or not, it is your Difficult Child behavior that is at hand here. My own has not recieved a diagnosis because she refuses to get help, lives with whoever she can find, this month and is literally drinking herself to death. I suspect bi-polar (runs in family) and Borderline (BPD), but it doesnt really matter what the diagnosis is when our Difficult Child makes such poor choices. Maybe she shouldn't be invited to be part of family gatherings unless she is willing to make her contribution a positive one. My wish for you and her is that she want to be that person enough to make plans and arrangements on her own. And, if she doesn't, I hope you understand that is her choice. We were going to do the same as you for our Difficult Child and offered it a while ago only to be told we were rude and uncaring to offer such a thing for "when she is healthy" implying we weren't there to send money that day. I drove myself nuts thinking what such a visit would look like, would she leave, etc. She managed to send some very demeaning and abusive texts a couple of weeks ago. That's when I decided I didnt want her here under those circumstances. I sent her Amazon gift card as usual and Christmas Day she sent a very kind text with love for all. She did same with her brother (he too lives in another state). Though I went through a challenging period, I am grateful I stayed the course. I hope sharing this is helpful for you. In healing. [/QUOTE]
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