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Family of Origin
You fill the bill. Then, who am I?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681019" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>If I was chosen to be loved by a father who self-destructed, and could not, would not save him, what does that make me?</p><p></p><p>I know that my adopted my son is connected in my mind to the life and death of my father. And my relation with him.</p><p></p><p>It was after I learned of his death four or five years before, and grieving his death, that I decided to adopt. Remember, please, the circumstances of my son's birth parents.</p><p></p><p>I always knew that in part I was trying to come to grips with my own life, as all mothers try to do through their love of their children.</p><p></p><p>So what is at risk of falling apart is this grand narrative of redemption through loving my son. You see, the story was, that through my love and care he was supposed to thrive and rise. Not return to the degradation of his parents, and I with him to the degradation of my own.</p><p></p><p>So there is the opportunity for individuation and self-definition here. His both from the story of his parents and from the fantasies I placed upon him. My own self-definition based upon my own life and achievements, and not that of my parents. Particularly, my father.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681019, member: 18958"] If I was chosen to be loved by a father who self-destructed, and could not, would not save him, what does that make me? I know that my adopted my son is connected in my mind to the life and death of my father. And my relation with him. It was after I learned of his death four or five years before, and grieving his death, that I decided to adopt. Remember, please, the circumstances of my son's birth parents. I always knew that in part I was trying to come to grips with my own life, as all mothers try to do through their love of their children. So what is at risk of falling apart is this grand narrative of redemption through loving my son. You see, the story was, that through my love and care he was supposed to thrive and rise. Not return to the degradation of his parents, and I with him to the degradation of my own. So there is the opportunity for individuation and self-definition here. His both from the story of his parents and from the fantasies I placed upon him. My own self-definition based upon my own life and achievements, and not that of my parents. Particularly, my father. COPA [/QUOTE]
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You fill the bill. Then, who am I?
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