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Young difficult child kicked out of the Army and More...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 204083" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Fran...You say your life is like a "bad country/western song these past 18 months", hmmm, got MY curiosity peaked! Good to hear that life in general is not too bad. </p><p>I'll try and not be as much of a stranger...It really is comforting to always feel at home here, my internet roots belong to Conduct Disorders, lol. And of course you are such an important part of the board for me. You tried to talk some sense into me when I was ever so stubborn and hardheaded in my own thinking...but you gently proded me into considering new ideas, I will always be grateful for the time you took caring about me in the past...as well as many others that are dear to me here. </p><p></p><p>DDD, LOL about starring in a new tv version of "Happy Days", ya right, giggles. It's more like the "Bizarre life and times of Tammy and the 4 J's". lol. </p><p></p><p>As for church, while it's true that I had "issues" with my former pastor, I also have issues with some of the aspects of my psychotic break and the "storyline" if you will of the whole episode. Basically, "G-d and the D were fighting for my soul and the D was winning...I literally saw my mom, and husband turn into the D and smelled Hell when I walked out of my house...it was like a furnace burning smell. I was hallucinating and all my senses were used in the hallucination. Even while in the hospital I lay in a bed feeling nails in me feet and hands as though I were being crucified. So you see, it really was detailed and religiously based this psychosis I was in...I even heard G-d talking to me through the radio and at one point thought I was supposed to let go of the steering wheel in order to prove my faith and trust in G-d. I was very lucky that I was not killed during this episode. Plus...What would "they" have done to me a few thousand years ago...I likely would have been deemed possessed or something. It just...the whole thing made me back away from religion. I still believe in G-d, a creator and a devine purpose for life...I just have problems with the details, etc. Anyway...I'll work it out eventually. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for considering me so loving and giving like Mindy...lol about being vulnerable to fast talking handsome dudes. You know me well! smile. I'm so blessed that Joey is in my/our lives...he is a bright spot in everyone's day that surrounds him. </p><p>Hugs and love to you, Tammy </p><p></p><p></p><p>Hi Terry thank you for the compliments about being so sweet and upbeat. Yall really put a smile on my face as caring as you all are. </p><p>You are SO right about a judge making Jarod pay dollars and not just "dropping off" what he deems as necessary for Joey's care. I suspect court will come about in the next few months and change his "ideas". </p><p>Oh, it really does bother me that lil Joey could be "victimized" in this whole situation. As I stated before...Kids internalize/personalize why things happen. So often times, especially when they don't have a councelor or someone they can reveal their deepest thoughts too...who has insight and good understanding, well, so often times kids will conclude that their was something about THEM that caused a father to be absent or unavailable. When I was young I though..."maybe I was a bad baby, maybe I was an ugly baby, maybe he wanted a boy instead of a girl"...all sorts of horrible conclusions that eventually lead me to believe that I was just not worthy, not important enough, to love. It wasn't til adulthood that I realized that it had Nothing to do with me or my value...it was all his lacktherein. But what ALOT of pain I went through as a young person and particularly a struggling hormonal teen girl...seeking that "love" from males who often disappointed me just as the biodad had. </p><p>Dr phil says paraphrasing something along the lines of "we teach people how to treat us and we look for people to treat us in a way that we believe we truly deserve to be treated" that was certainly true for myself. </p><p>I guess...My hope is that if this situation with Jarod and Joey plays out as I currently suspect...that maybe just maybe I will be given an opportunity along the way to share my thoughts in hope that it may emotionally empower lil Joey and help him realize that it was never about him that caused his parent to be unavailable. The situation does sadden me...but, it's not here yet so I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it just be ready if/when I am ever asked to share on this subject. </p><p></p><p>You couldn't be more right about getting alot done when I'm manic but needing a few hours of sleep a night...I go to bed around 11, wake up at around 2...stay awake until around 3 and then wake up for good around 6:30am. This, even with some Ambien that the Dr prescribed me last time I saw her. Thank you for the care and the hugs, Terry...hugs back to ya! </p><p>Tammy </p><p></p><p>Aw Lothlorien, your hug warmed me and made me smile. Hugs back to ya.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 204083, member: 3305"] Fran...You say your life is like a "bad country/western song these past 18 months", hmmm, got MY curiosity peaked! Good to hear that life in general is not too bad. I'll try and not be as much of a stranger...It really is comforting to always feel at home here, my internet roots belong to Conduct Disorders, lol. And of course you are such an important part of the board for me. You tried to talk some sense into me when I was ever so stubborn and hardheaded in my own thinking...but you gently proded me into considering new ideas, I will always be grateful for the time you took caring about me in the past...as well as many others that are dear to me here. DDD, LOL about starring in a new tv version of "Happy Days", ya right, giggles. It's more like the "Bizarre life and times of Tammy and the 4 J's". lol. As for church, while it's true that I had "issues" with my former pastor, I also have issues with some of the aspects of my psychotic break and the "storyline" if you will of the whole episode. Basically, "G-d and the D were fighting for my soul and the D was winning...I literally saw my mom, and husband turn into the D and smelled Hell when I walked out of my house...it was like a furnace burning smell. I was hallucinating and all my senses were used in the hallucination. Even while in the hospital I lay in a bed feeling nails in me feet and hands as though I were being crucified. So you see, it really was detailed and religiously based this psychosis I was in...I even heard G-d talking to me through the radio and at one point thought I was supposed to let go of the steering wheel in order to prove my faith and trust in G-d. I was very lucky that I was not killed during this episode. Plus...What would "they" have done to me a few thousand years ago...I likely would have been deemed possessed or something. It just...the whole thing made me back away from religion. I still believe in G-d, a creator and a devine purpose for life...I just have problems with the details, etc. Anyway...I'll work it out eventually. Thank you for considering me so loving and giving like Mindy...lol about being vulnerable to fast talking handsome dudes. You know me well! smile. I'm so blessed that Joey is in my/our lives...he is a bright spot in everyone's day that surrounds him. Hugs and love to you, Tammy Hi Terry thank you for the compliments about being so sweet and upbeat. Yall really put a smile on my face as caring as you all are. You are SO right about a judge making Jarod pay dollars and not just "dropping off" what he deems as necessary for Joey's care. I suspect court will come about in the next few months and change his "ideas". Oh, it really does bother me that lil Joey could be "victimized" in this whole situation. As I stated before...Kids internalize/personalize why things happen. So often times, especially when they don't have a councelor or someone they can reveal their deepest thoughts too...who has insight and good understanding, well, so often times kids will conclude that their was something about THEM that caused a father to be absent or unavailable. When I was young I though..."maybe I was a bad baby, maybe I was an ugly baby, maybe he wanted a boy instead of a girl"...all sorts of horrible conclusions that eventually lead me to believe that I was just not worthy, not important enough, to love. It wasn't til adulthood that I realized that it had Nothing to do with me or my value...it was all his lacktherein. But what ALOT of pain I went through as a young person and particularly a struggling hormonal teen girl...seeking that "love" from males who often disappointed me just as the biodad had. Dr phil says paraphrasing something along the lines of "we teach people how to treat us and we look for people to treat us in a way that we believe we truly deserve to be treated" that was certainly true for myself. I guess...My hope is that if this situation with Jarod and Joey plays out as I currently suspect...that maybe just maybe I will be given an opportunity along the way to share my thoughts in hope that it may emotionally empower lil Joey and help him realize that it was never about him that caused his parent to be unavailable. The situation does sadden me...but, it's not here yet so I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it just be ready if/when I am ever asked to share on this subject. You couldn't be more right about getting alot done when I'm manic but needing a few hours of sleep a night...I go to bed around 11, wake up at around 2...stay awake until around 3 and then wake up for good around 6:30am. This, even with some Ambien that the Dr prescribed me last time I saw her. Thank you for the care and the hugs, Terry...hugs back to ya! Tammy Aw Lothlorien, your hug warmed me and made me smile. Hugs back to ya. [/QUOTE]
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