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Substance Abuse
Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
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<blockquote data-quote="Percy" data-source="post: 706202" data-attributes="member: 21263"><p>To clarify, I probably did a poor job of explaining in previous posts. Son has never shoved me; last night shouldered me to keep me from coming into bathroom, put his elbow out so that I couldn't squeeze past him to get in bathroom. Younger kids have never seen him shove me or block me, or get physical in any way. And they didn't see what happened last night; that happened in the middle of the night last night, they were asleep, and then today during the blow-up, while he blocked the door, but no one could see any of it. They were not in sight of us, we were in a part of the house where they could not see us. But they could hear us, so younger kids heard the argument today.</p><p></p><p>There have never been any previous times when he has physically blocked me or shouldered/elbowed. He has sometimes towered over me in arguments. 90% of negative interactions with son occur when other kids are not at home, or discussions behind closed doors (and at a volume where they are not overheard).</p><p></p><p>I don't think my younger kids feel frightened. I think they feel anxious after today, and angry at son for causing chaos, and maybe upset that we "let him be like that" and wish I would "just make it stop". Although, several of them have said that his problems are his fault, his situation entirely of his making/choices he has made. To be clear, I don't think this is good for the other kids, but the environment in our house is not at a level that perhaps you perceive it to be.</p><p></p><p>IN general, son has never been violent or physical or destructive of property- no fights in school, not even physical fights with brothers or sisters (all my kids are close in age, so physical wrestling among my boys would not have been out of the ordinary, but it never happened). Never hit walls, never broke anything. He is gentle with little kids (used to be kind and playful with younger siblings (now has almost no interaction), used to be fun with little kids, used to coach a younger kids swim team, was a counselor at a summer camp, kind to animals, gentle with our many pets, doesn't hit walls or break things etc.) he IS highly oppositional, defiant, rebellious, and verbally confrontational and verbally abusive to me/husband to the nth degree, but physical aggression has not been part of the picture, until the limited circumstances of last night and today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Percy, post: 706202, member: 21263"] To clarify, I probably did a poor job of explaining in previous posts. Son has never shoved me; last night shouldered me to keep me from coming into bathroom, put his elbow out so that I couldn't squeeze past him to get in bathroom. Younger kids have never seen him shove me or block me, or get physical in any way. And they didn't see what happened last night; that happened in the middle of the night last night, they were asleep, and then today during the blow-up, while he blocked the door, but no one could see any of it. They were not in sight of us, we were in a part of the house where they could not see us. But they could hear us, so younger kids heard the argument today. There have never been any previous times when he has physically blocked me or shouldered/elbowed. He has sometimes towered over me in arguments. 90% of negative interactions with son occur when other kids are not at home, or discussions behind closed doors (and at a volume where they are not overheard). I don't think my younger kids feel frightened. I think they feel anxious after today, and angry at son for causing chaos, and maybe upset that we "let him be like that" and wish I would "just make it stop". Although, several of them have said that his problems are his fault, his situation entirely of his making/choices he has made. To be clear, I don't think this is good for the other kids, but the environment in our house is not at a level that perhaps you perceive it to be. IN general, son has never been violent or physical or destructive of property- no fights in school, not even physical fights with brothers or sisters (all my kids are close in age, so physical wrestling among my boys would not have been out of the ordinary, but it never happened). Never hit walls, never broke anything. He is gentle with little kids (used to be kind and playful with younger siblings (now has almost no interaction), used to be fun with little kids, used to coach a younger kids swim team, was a counselor at a summer camp, kind to animals, gentle with our many pets, doesn't hit walls or break things etc.) he IS highly oppositional, defiant, rebellious, and verbally confrontational and verbally abusive to me/husband to the nth degree, but physical aggression has not been part of the picture, until the limited circumstances of last night and today. [/QUOTE]
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