How do my Kids feel? hmmm good Question, Man you like to make my brain work hehe.
I have always taught my kids that they cannot live life the way I do, just cause I don't like to eat it, doesn't mean you don't like to eat it.(as an example)
I am very very protective over my children, anyone who knows my Family can testify to that,but it really depends on what areas we're speaking of here.. NO they aren't allowed to date.
NO there aren't allowed out past dark, no matter who there with,(unless an approved Adult).
I had the biggest test of my Faith this summer, and it was one of the hardest things I have had to make a decision on.
Being that I am a single parent, there is a Fella who runs an outreach program in my City, he also goes to my church, well anyways, he wanted to take my 2 boys and 4 others boys SURFING, HAHAHA.. surfing is dangerous. very danerous!!!
So I really struggled with that decision, I talked to alot of people about it, Prayed ALOT, I didn't mind the 12 year old going, cause he was rdy for the seperation from me this summer.. he has never been able to leave me before.. but Daddy had already taken him and 1 daughter camping for a weekend, so I knew he would be alright.. didn't make the danger of Surfing go away, but I was willing to do it.
BUT, my little 9 year old!!! He is my Baby, I protect him alot, being that he is special needs and we almost lost him at birth, I treasure the little guy.so to let him go for 5 days on a surfing trip, was like asking for my blood.
I let him go!
I sent along a box with medications and writen instructions when to administer them.
I spoke to them about 3 times in the 5 days, so that helped.
they brought back 160 Pictures of my Babys standing on HUGE waves in thier wet suits and stuff... man I told them you are lucky I wasn't there... that looked soooooo dangerous... I am so happy they got to go.
My kids are realy lucky to have this friend in thier lives, other wise they wouldn't get to do alot of the things they do.
My kids are not more mature than anyone elses, remember that 3 out of 4 have some sort of challange.
I know that my 12 year old boy would have been alot happier if if wan't abused by daughter 1 and abused by 9 year old son.. he has had a real test of strength living in the middle of those 2, and then me who spontaniously loses my temper.( hardly ever now)
My daughter 1 is a rebel. she would rather be doing anything she can away from home.. she loves her family, but she says she doesn't like to be around us 24/7.. I say "tough, this is your life and your family get over it".. of course she gets to go out and do stuff with out us.. youth groups/sleep overs etc.. it's just if she had her way she'Learning Disability (LD) be one of them kids you see hanging in the parks after dark with her stonie friends.LOL she is a Great kid.. but a bit of a rebel.
My kids don't do drugs or drink or smoke or anything.. Daughter 1 has tried drinking and smoking a couple times, that didn't go over well with me, and she doesn't do that anymore.
my 9 year old on the other hand,....
I by a 4 pack of Mudslides about once a year.. other than that I don't drink.. I bought my 4 pack this year, and when I got up one morning 2 bottles were gone.. I knew who did it, but took 2 hours of the gestopo Mom having at his brain to make him fess up .. he finally confesed. he couldn't bear it anymore lol!!! he doesn't understand that I am more stubborn than him.
I have to step out of my comfort zone alot with my kids, If I had my way they would never go anywhere without me.( I treasure them so much and am so fearful of anything happening to them), but I know they can't live like that.
They are allowed out, but they need to have a specific place to be, they are not allowed to just go and hang out,(like at the mall and stuff) they need to have Money and a reason to be there, and be with approved people, mainly my daughter on that example.
I allow them freedoms as they earn the right to have them, my oldest daughter has screwed that up a few times, and she gets put right back to the begining again.. now you got earn my trust and your right to be out doing stuff again.
I do find it very difficult alot of the times, My oldest daughter is such a kind hearted girl and a wonderful person, but she is a TEEN, and some of her examples are NOT what I want around the other kids. Like her type of Music.. uggg, makes me crazy.(we are Chistian) and I prefer my kids to stay away from the cecular music.. that has been a struggle... now she can listen to her music, as long as it is clean, and it's in her room, she gets what she wants and so do I.
My oldest Son is my Hospital Buddy, if I need to go to the Hospital for heart Palpations, he is almost always the one I take with me.. he makes it more fun.. the girls get whiney and the 9 year old talks way to much, my oldest son and I do best there,, and as silly as it sounds.. it's also a time for us to be alone together.
being a single parent it is tough to make the 1 on 1 time that they all need.
that is his.
My oldest kids all know about the abuse I went through, and about all my DXs, they understand them and are accepting of them.
When I get really immature, my daughter will as me what personality is out today lol.. sometimes she's right.
Considering all the challenges we have in our lives, I think we are OK.. I think we are faily normal.. not perfect by any means.. but the most important thing is I love them, they Love me.. and we are our own family, different than everyone elses.just like all families.
Not sure If I answered your questions properly.. but this is "MY LIFE".. hehehe... I'm in a silly Mood today
Jessee